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Humor: More immigrants from Norway
God bless America and how is everybody
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood.

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Minnesota Vikings had the entire nation talking Monday after their last-second 60-yard TD pass put them into the NFC Championship in Philadelphia. You can’t make it up. President Trump called for more immigrants from Norway and this week the Vikings arrive on the East Coast.

The White House on Monday suggested more federal coordination with Hawaii’s state system of attack alerts. When the nuclear missile attack alert was first broadcast, the president headed straight for the bunker. Thank goodness he was in Florida and it was only 30 yards up the fairway.

President Trump ignited a furor by labeling Haiti, El Salvador and African nations as s-hole countries. It’s a scrum. Democrats are angry at Trump for racism, Republicans are angry because Trump revealed how white people really think, and Londoners are angry because he forgot Pakistan.

President Trump arrived back in Washington and insisted to reporters that he’s the least racist person they ever interviewed. We’re often not our own the best judges. I spent my first five years after graduating from the University of Oklahoma believing I wasn’t an alcoholic, I was sober-phobic.

Democratic Sen. Dick Durbin of Illinois told reports Friday that Trump did indeed call Third World nations such as El Salvador, Haiti and African nations s-holes, but the president denied it. Both men are sticking to their guns. Durbin swears Trump said s-hole, Trump insists he said Chicago.

President Trump said progress with North Korea will help remove the worry about emergency alert system screw-ups like Saturday’s in Hawaii. The system is vulnerable to hackers. Most Americans would prefer the original emergency alert system, but unfortunately, Paul Revere is dead.

Hawaii’s false missile alert and public panic quickly turned into a partisan catfight Monday. It always does. The Democrats said it proves Trump needs to placate North Korea, while Republicans said if you think Hawaii’s emergency alert system is bad, you should see their birth certificate system.

Hawaiians were warned that they were about to die in a missile attack Saturday by a false alert from the state’s emergency agency. The panic was triggered by a worker who pushed the wrong button during a drill. He’s been receiving death threats, proving that what goes around comes around.

CNN came under fire Monday for not covering the Hawaii missile attack false alert live and the public panic it was causing. Instead they ran a re-run of an interview with a Trump-bashing author. Trump could discover the cure for cancer and CNN would say he doesn’t care about AIDS.

West Coast states combined forces Monday to fight the Justice Department’s threat to halt all marijuana sales. The states are enjoying a tax revenue bonanza. They’d legalize cocaine, but it would be a little embarrassing for the top-rated TV shows to be the ones that air at six in the morning.

Here’s my favorite funny MLK story. Back in 1957, Ghana became the first African nation to democratically elect its own leader, Kwame Nkrumah. President Eisenhower sent VP Dick Nixon, Dr. King and his SCLC officials to represent the U.S. at the inaugural. The U.S. delegation stood near the podium alongside Ghanans. After the ceremony, Nixon turned to the man next to him and said, "How does it feel to have democracy at last?" The man replied, "I wouldn’t know, Sir, I’m from Alabama!"

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