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Humor: Manson survived by those still crazy enough
God bless America, how's everybody?
Argus Hamilton
Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood and entertains groups and organizations around the country. - photo by File photo

HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?

The Hollywood Reporter says director Quentin Tarantino is taking his Charles Manson movie away from the Weinstein Company and he’s bringing it to another studio. It’s a sign of the times. How bad is it when even Charles Manson’s name could be damaged if it’s linked to Harvey Weinstein?

Capitol Hill will begin emptying out today as members of Congress and U.S. Senators and their staffers begin flying home for the Thanksgiving holiday. There is still some business to be done. President Trump was scheduled to pardon a turkey Wednesday and Al Franken is keeping his fingers crossed.

The White House rejoiced over great economic reports Monday and predicted a booming year ahead for Americans. It was a sad week of reflection for one profession. Call girls and hookers in Hollywood and Washington D.C. are saying to one another, where did we fail all these powerful men?

Oklahoma Sooners coach Lincoln Riley stated Monday that Heisman Trophy favorite Baker Mayfield won’t start Saturday. It’s for the obscene sideline gesture he made to hecklers in the Kansas game. However it’s probably best you tell the kids that the team trainer said Baker pulled a groin.

A U.S. Navy Destroyer sustained minor damage after it was struck by a Japanese tugboat while patrolling in the Sea of Japan Friday. No surprise to drivers in Los Angeles. The Japanese are such bad drivers I’m starting to believe that those World War II Kamikaze attacks were just accidents.

Beverly Hills plastic surgeons were surveyed to find out what plastic surgery procedures are in the most demand from women patients this year. The doctors replied far away the most popular procedure today is breast reduction. That makes sense, women look much better with just two of them.

Charles Manson died in a hospital Saturday in the dusty old California oil and cotton town of Bakersfield at the bottom of the San Joaquin Valley. It’s gamey. If you go to the nicest restaurant in Bakersfield and ask for a table with a view, they seat you by Ladies Room and leave the door open.

Charles Manson’s body was taken from the Bakersfield hospital where he died Saturday and brought to the San Quentin prison crematorium. The mainstream media spin was predictable. CNN reported that Charles Manson is survived by anyone who’s still crazy enough to vote for Trump.

Hillary Clinton while on her book tour Friday told an interviewer that America’s problem is our system has no way of correcting an illegitimately-won presidential election. It just never ends. If Hillary Clinton, God forbid, ever decided to end it all she would leave a 23 page suicide note.

Oliver Stone was added to the list of celebrities accused of sexual misconduct by actresses last weekend due to suggestive dialogue he had women use during movie auditions. In the old days, if you saw a celebrity’s name trending on Twitter you thought he died. Now you’re thinking the worst.

Fox News host Judge Jeanine Pirro was pulled over by New York Highway patrol Sunday who clocked her driving 119 mph. She explained to the police that she was hurrying to see her sick mother. She should’ve said she was trying to get away from Charlie Rose.

CBS Morning News anchor Charlie Rose was suspended Monday after eight women accused Charlie of sexual misconduct including groping, unwanted kissing and exposing himself to them. It turns out that Charlie Rose has a very devious seduction routine. He puts women to sleep by speaking.

Email Hamilton at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.

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