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Eventually everyone becomes their parents
Rich DeLong

Last week my mom had another landmark birthday. She turned the corner on 90 years young and appears to be full-steam ahead as she begins the 10th decade of her life.

I can only hope and pray that I have a few of her genes in my “pool” of life. I certainly have no problem when I hear my wife say, “You’re just like your mother.” Yay!

It’s no secret that as we age we tend to be like one parent or the other – or both. I used to fear the day when I would realize that I was becoming one of my parents. Nothing says “all grown up” like beginning to strangely resemble your mom.

At age 5, mom and dad are your heroes – they can do no wrong. At age 15, your parents are now your mortal enemy and can do no right. Then one day as your kids run out of the house and leave the front door open, you yell, “Hey, do you think we live in a barn.” And that’s when you know you’re on the path to becoming your parents.

Sometime it’s subtle and other times it smacks you right in the face like a fried bologna sandwich. Either way, there’s no stopping it.

The other day I was expounding to my co-worker, who is approaching middle age, the virtues of having a good mattress to sleep on, good shoes to put on your feet and a good set of tires for your car.

If you think about it, we spend more time in our bed, on our feet and in our car combined than any other place. So it only makes sense that these items would be the most important in our lives.

Before I could finish making my point, she gave me this funny look and said, “You sound just like my father.” Wow. I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, so I responded by saying, “He must be a very smart man.”

There are plenty of signs along the way that you may be transforming into Mom or Dad. It’s not all bad, but here are a few to look out for: • You don’t have children yet but you find yourself thinking about all the chores you will have them perform once you do.

• You begin discussions with phrases like, “Can you believe kids these days …” or “Where are their parents?”

• You’re actually on a budget and shopping is only a necessity, not a luxury.

• Having a stain on the front of your shirt is a dead giveaway that you are your father.

• 10 p.m. is considered late.

• You’re opting for a hatchback versus a two-door vehicle because it makes shopping so much easier.

• You repeat that same funny family story over and over and over again.

• Sweaters and umbrellas are now your best friends.

• You talk about rotary-dial phones, 13 channels on the TV set and gas mileage.

• You reprimand your children by starting with the sentence, “I’m going to count to three.”

• Tupperware is popular again.

• You let out a moan when you get up or bend over.

• And my absolute favorite: you tell your children, “One day you will thank me.” And when they do, you know your kids are growing up to be just like you.

Becoming your parents is OK, my friends!

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