Everybody on this planet has a mom.

Some moms are great, some moms are not so good. Some moms are paragons of virtue and style, some moms have moustaches and beer guts and big hair. And tattoos.

That’s not to judge, mind you. Just stating facts. Some moms have hearts of gold. Some are queens of mean.

And so on and so on Moms are people too, you see, with all that entails. The good, the bad and the squirriley.

I’ve been fortunate to have one of those lovely mothers whose existence, her entire life, revolved around her family, and still does with what’s left of it.

She’s 79 these days, and despite heart problems and the aches and pains that go with age she’s still alive and kicking and keeping up with the local news, The Price is Right, reality crime shows and the going’s on in her neighborhood That’s her job, she says. She’s the neighborhood watch.

She reads four newspapers, a steady diet of mystery and thriller novels and whatever she gets in the mail.

She pays her bills on time and fusses when the customer service isn’t up to snuff, and she thinks we’re headed down the wrong road as a nation because nobody wants to work anymore and everybody wants something for nothing.

She also watches her diet and has a sense of humor. Not everyone does, you know.

And, she’d do anything in the world for anybody who asked, so long as they were trying to help themselves. But don’t try scamming her. She’s sharp as a tack.

That’s my mom. She’s a good one. Anyhow, in honor of her, and all the moms out there, and there are billions of them, I’ve written this poem for Mother’s Day.

It’s called, “Moms are Good.” 

Mom’s are good.

Moms are great.

They cleaned our tiny bottoms And put food on our plate. 

Moms treat our colds And fry our eggs They wash our ears And shave their legs. 

Moms have ruled countries They’ve led troops in war They’ve arrested mean bad guys And tended biker bars.

 Moms have been in space Moms have been on the clock Moms have won the race Moms have bought us socks. 

Moms have won bread They’ve buried the dead Moms can sail boats And make us French Toast. 

Some moms are short Some moms are tall Some moms are wide Some not at all. 

They’re teachers and lawyers and lumberjacks and cops They’re EMTs and bankers and soldiers and carhops.

No matter what they do, They don’t ask for much Just a card and some flowers And maybe, just maybe That we come spend a few hours. 

I’m talking about how great moms can be They’re so kind, and loving, They take care of us for free.

 For free, I said, and you know it’s true They don’t charge for all that they do, 

And they do a lot for me and for you It’s a labor of love as pure as the dew. In our earliest moments they give us their heart, and you can’t beat that, if you give it some thought.

So be nice to your mom You can buy her a beer Get her a fish sandwich And call her your dear. Don’t let her grow old Without telling her you care Because if it wasn’t for moms, We wouldn’t be here. Thanks for reading. Happy mothers Day.