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Dee McLelland: ‘Talking Dog’ for sale $50....
Dee McLelland new

A man was reading the local paper one day and noticed in the classifieds a particular “for sale” ad.

“Talking Dog for Sale $50” The man read the ad several times with the description outlining that the dog was well-trained and had a very high IQ, was very neat and house trained.

“I have to see this,” the man said out loud and went directly to the address to see if this was true.

The man rang the doorbell and a gentleman in his 30’s answered.

“Is it true you have a talking dog for sale?” the potential purchaser asked.

“Yep, he’s in back watching TV I think,” the seller said and he pointed the way down the hall.

The man walked into the bedroom and sure enough there was the dog sprawled out on the bed watching TV with the remote in his paw.

“How’s it going?” the dog looked up and said.

The man jumped back and said, “It’s true, you can talk. I didn’t believe it.”

“Oh sure, I’ve been talking since I was a pup,” the dog answered again.

“What are you doing here?” the man asked again with his eyes bulging.

“Well,” the dog started, “ I grew up in Florida and learned several languages from my owners and then when I got out of college I helped the police when the drug problem got out of hand I started helping the police find illegal shipments off the coast and then did a lot of airport duty before looking for another challenge.”

The man sat on the corner of the bed transfixed by the dog and his natural ability to talk.

The dog continued. “I moved up into the New York area to get near some cooler weather and then after the 9-11 attack I worked with firefighters and rescue workers searching for survivors, but that was very stressful so I started an acting career and eventually landed a spot in River Dance on Broadway.”

The man couldn’t believe all the things the dog had accomplished and pressed for more information.

“How did you end up here?” he asked.

“I just wanted to slow things down and get away from all the hustle and bustle and after I won the lottery I thought this would be a great change of pace,” the dog answered.

The man stood up and said how glad he was to meet the dog and again applauded him for his great accomplishments.

“Not a problem,” the dog said. “I’ll be working on a couple of my cars later this afternoon so I thought I would catch up on my soaps first.”

“You own cars?” the man asked again.

“Just a few,” the dog added. “I have a couple of Corvettes, Jeep and a couple of roadsters that I like to take out on country roads for fun.”

The man nodded and then began walking back up the hallway towards the front of the house. He was almost at a loss for words as he approached the man who had placed the ad.

“That dog is amazing, he really can talk,” the potential purchaser said. “What in the world are you doing selling such a fantastic dog?”

The man looked towards the back of the house where the dog was still intently watching television.

The man yelled “Because he’s a big liar!”

If you see me, “Say Hey!”

Dee McLelland is Publisher of the Coastal Courier and the Bryan County News

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