By Rev. Jim Jackson

Richmond Hill Presbyterian Church

Mrs. Parton (not her real name) was a member of a church I served as pastor, but I don’t remember her ever attending a worship service.  Instead she stayed in her home, only  a short distance from the church.  I was able to minister to her by numerous pastoral visits in her home and many more numerous visits via telephone.  I initiated the home visits; she, the phone calls, extended phone visits.

Most often she called when I was in my study, preparing for seminary classes.  At the time, I lived in the church’s manse; and besides, pastoring, I was a full time seminary student, working part-time at the local grocery.  I stayed busy as a matter of necessity—keeping the family fed and dressed and preparing for a career as a pastor.  Free time came at a premium, time-wise anyhow.

So I must confess that extended calls in the evenings from a lonely, homebound, elderly widow who had a lot to say about little was not warmly welcomed.  It would not have been so difficult, except most conversations included extensive details about the dear woman’s chronic arthritis.

Now I know this will be difficult for many of you to believe, but I will swear to its truthfulness on a Bible any day.  Mrs. Parton told me that she actually celebrated the annual anniversary of her arthritis.  Go ahead and laugh (or cry), but I heard it with my own ears numerous times.  Could it have been that her arthritis was the one companion she could count upon accompanying her every lonely hour of her waning years?  Had she come to think of herself as a victim of life’s apparent inequities?  “Who am I?  Mrs. Arthritis, with an annual anniversary of the same.” 

Could it be possible that in our inescapable ills we may reach a point where we can only think of ourselves as victim?  Is it possible the most convenient antidote is ceaseless complaining of our nemesis?  How does that impact those who choose to listen; or in some cases, are required to do so?  There are better alternatives.

But my purpose now is to expound briefly upon the negative result of constant complaining.  How does it impact others?  The wise author of Proverbs 27:15 wrote:  “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.”  To be fair, we must assert that the same is true of a contentious man, or even a child.  Continual verbal “dripping” is a poor antidote for ourselves; and soon, it becomes a monotonous pain for those who listen.  The complainer drowns in his/her own verbosity and those who listen soon turn off the continual dripping.  One of my early professors once said: “Those who complain all the time soon complain alone.”  Perhaps that should have been included in Proverbs.