The following were taken from incident reports provided by the Bryan County Sheriff’s Department and Richmond Hill Police Department.

Criminal trespass
The French philosopher Blaise Pascal once wrote, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”
As these criminal trespass reports attest, that just about sums it up.
Example A: A deputy met Feb. 15 with a man on Kilkenny Road regarding trespass onto property of which he was co-owner. The man said one, perhaps two, people went onto the property, where they “got into several pieces of equipment and drove around. Trees were knocked over and the graded areas were all rutted and dug up,” the report said.
The equipment the man was referring to was a bulldozer and an excavator. The bulldozer “was driven all over the property and left with the blade pushed down in the dirt …” and the excavator also “was driven all over the property.”
Neither machine was damaged. Footprints were found. The property will be patrolled more frequently and the report was turned over to detectives.
Example B: Around 2:20 p.m. Feb. 17, a deputy was sent to a Richmond Hill address regarding a vandalism call, where he met with a woman who said she came home to find “that the brick work on her back patio had been spray painted by green marking paint.”
The deputy investigated and “observed the paint on the brick work that was one solid stream about 5 feet long.”
Nothing else had been damaged, the woman said, noting she was renting the property, in the process of moving and wanted the incident documented in case the paint doesn’t come off.
Example C: An RHPD officer met with a woman at her home shortly before 7 p.m. Feb. 14, where “she explained a male subject soliciting business regarding carpet shampoo arrived at her residence. She declined his business and returned back into her house.”
Well, if that was all that happened then this wouldn’t be an incident. Instead, the woman told the officer she went to a neighbor’s house a few minutes later and on the way saw the same man “walking from beside her house,” the report said. So, she asked him what was up.
“She inquired what he was doing to which he replied, ‘I was urinating.’” the report continued. “The suspect made a hasty get away to a dark color van where he departed the area.”
The woman gave a description of the man, which included the fact he was wearing a buttoned-up shirt and sweater vest. The officer checked the area but didn’t see anyone matching her description.
Simple assault
Deputies were dispatched around noon to an Ellabell address “in reference to an individual shooting a gun,” a report said.
There, deputies met with a man who spun a story of brothers who apparently don’t get along very well. “(Complainant) stated his brother … and him share their grandmother’s property but live in two separate buildings. Last night (brother) burned some of (complainant’s) personal property that was left in the house he stays in, because (complainant) has his own place and (complainant’s) stuff doesn’t need to be in (brother’s) place.”
The complaint said that led to the complainant’s brother to threaten him with a handgun, “discharging it in the house as he ran outside.”
As the deputy was interviewing the complainant, the brother returned to the scene,” the report said, noting the brother said he didn’t have a gun, never fired one and “’all I did was threaten to beat his (bleep) then he ran outside to call police.”
The brother did admit, however, to burning the complainant’s stuff. But “after checking around the residence inside and out, there was a hole located in the kitchen floor that appeared to have been made by a bullet,” the report said. “There were no firearms located and both subjects agreed to separate … from each other.”