From Bryan County Sheriff ’s Office reports: 

Suspended license: Life is like a box of chocolates for deputies, who never know what they’ll find on a call. In this case, deputies were sent to a Hines Road, Ellabell address in the wee hours of the morning on Oct. 5 “for an unknown person passed out in a van under a carport.”

There they met the couple, who were outside and “pointed to a white Pontiac van and said that this was the vehicle in question.”

Deputies then approached the van and found the man, “asleep in the driver’s seat of the vehicle with the keys in the ignition,” the report said. “The vehicle was not running. We woke (the man) up. He seemed very confused as to where he was.”

And how. “He stated he thought thought he was in Douglas and was waiting for a warehouse across the street to open.”

Deputies asked the man, who had a Douglas address, how he got where he was. “He said he drove a friend home and kept driving. He stated he got tired so he backed into the driveway and went to sleep.”

EMS was called and checked the 55-year-old man’s “vitals” and cleared him. But deputies discovered the man’s license was suspended and his van was put on the list to be towed. By the way, Douglas is about 105 miles or so from Ellabell.

Simple battery, criminal damage to property: A woman reported Oct. 5 that she got into an argument with her boyfriend in their vehicle and stopped at an Ellabell convenience store, where he grabbed her phone, “bending it and throwing it to the ground and shattering the screen.”

During this fight the woman suffered cuts to her hands, which the deputy saw. She said her boyfriend “then pulled (her) from the car, snatched the wig from her head and drove off towards his home in Effingham County.”

She didn’t want to file charges and said she’d find a ride home, according to the report.

Simple battery: Deputies were dispatched to a Lindsey Drive, Richmond Hill address around 7:30 p.m. Oct. 4, where they found a man “who was loading his truck with his belongings,” a report said.

“(He) advised that he called and that he was leaving. He does not wish to pursue charges.” The man told deputies he got home from work and took a shower, and afterward a woman “started yelling at him, accusing him of something he didn’t do. (She) then hit him in the left eye,” the report continued. “He grabbed her arms to keep her from hitting him anymore.”

The man said the woman told him she was going to call police. “She said that several times. Since she didn’t call the police, he called the police,” the report said.

The deputy didn’t see any injuries to the man’s face. He then talked to the woman, who “advised that (the man) took a shower in her bathroom instead of his. They started arguing about that and she pushed him, telling her to get out of the bathroom.

He then pushed her down on the floor.”

She said she didn’t hit the man on the face, and advised that “she had no injuries and does not wish to pursue charges.”

The report ended by noting “(The man) kissed (the woman) and told her that he loved her. (He) then left the area without incident.”

Criminal trespass: Deputies on Oct. 3 were “advised by the outgoing shift there was a call holding for the church on Wilma Edwards Road in reference to stealing water,” a report said.

The deputy spoke to the complainant, “who said he had let (a nearby residence) use some water because their well had stopped working. He said that they had come over and removed water hoses and hooked them together and ran them to their house but the hoses were the churches and they left them strung out. He wanted me to go with him to speak to the residents (at an Allison Road address) where they were borrowing the water. They spoke and came to an agreement about the water use and how to properly return things to the rightful place.”

In an Oct. 2 report, a man reported “an unknown subject has been stealing water from the water faucet on the back side of the church.” He planned on installing game cameras to try and find out who.

Criminal trespass: An Oak Leaf Court, Ellabell woman reported Oct. 1 that “her vehicle and house was egged during the night.”

The woman, who according to the report is in her 40s, told deputies she thinks it was her ex-boyfriend.

Damage to property: A woman reported she was driving east on I-16 at some point around 7 a.m. Oct. 4 when “ a large cooler flew up and struck her windshield causing it to burst.”

The woman said there were no other vehicles around her at the time it happened. The deputy described the damage as “major causing glass to be sprayed onto the complainant.” The cooler was “a large Pelican cooler black in color.”