I guess it is official. The other day I had a situation I believe automatically gave me membership to the "old guys" club.
I was visiting out-of-state and decided I needed a workout at the local gym. It was really more of a swanky-style fitness center, but it had what I needed to get the job done.
I was wearing my headset listening to my favorite rock ‘n’ roll tunes when the gentleman who was behind the desk walked over to me.
"Excuse me sir," he said. "You’re too loud and you need to be more quiet."
I looked rather shocked as I told him I’m a little hard of hearing so I play my music loud, but I have earphones on so I’m sure no one else can hear the music. Besides, the music they were playing was light and airy and not very loud. Who works out to music like that?
He preceded, "No, it’s not your music. The weights are banging on the machine and you need to be quieter when working out."
Really! I mean, this is a gym and I’m pretty sure weights clang every now and then. So I told him I’m a member of the "old guy" club. We purposely let the weights clash together so we feel as though we are doing something. Sometimes we even let out a loud grunt to reaffirm our masculinity as we work out.
He was not impressed and said, "Old guys need to keep it down." So I did my best to be quiet from that point on. Old guys never catch a break.
Being a member of the old guys club is not hard if you are thinking of joining. There are a few bendable rules to follow and nothing too radical.
First, you have to be old, just not think old. Humor is also a must. Shorts are worn often, and a T-shirt, preferably with a food stain, is standard. Comfortable sandals or crocs are the choice of footwear, but absolutely, and I mean absolutely, no socks. We are old guys, not geeks.
We listen to music from the 1960s to the 1980s and we have no fear about what people think of us. We like our computers and phones; we just don’t sleep with them. We aren’t fancy about food either.
We don’t dye our hair or beards because that can be dangerous and you can accidentally burn your skin — not that I have ever done that before.
And this last one is a little tricky but none-the-less very apropos for us old guys: we speak our minds. Let’s face it, we’ve been around for a while so we kinda know how things work. Nothing takes the place of experience. Remember that we graduated from the school of hard knocks and there is no better education.
Younger guys always want to tell us what we should do and how we should do it. I hate it when that happens.
Old guys are extremely polite, but we will use subtle sarcasm when dealing with younger guys (see the previous paragraph). It’s our way of balancing everything out.
Most of all though, old guys are nice guys, and everyone likes a nice guy.
Membership does have its privileges, my friends.
Contact DeLong at 912-531-7867 or SeniorMomentsWithRich@gmail.com.