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Why your spouses annoying habits can actually strengthen your marriage
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It is our attitude and how we react and perceive these habits that will make all the difference. - photo by Courtnie Erickson
Since day one, it's always been the socks. My husband is notorious for leaving his dirty, smelly socks laying all around our home. After nagging him for years to pick them up, he is becoming clever. I now not only find socks laying within a foot of the hamper; Ill find them under couch cushions, shoved under the bed and even hidden behind furniture.

However, these socks have taught me a lot about marriage. Here are a few reasons why your spouses annoying habits can help keep your marriage strong.

They remind you that you have someone to love

It may be dirty socks laying around your home, or it may be waking up at 2 a.m. to loud snores. Whatever your spouses annoying habits may be, take a look at the habit from another perspective: Yes, you may have dirty socks laying around your home, but you have someone who is home every night to leave dirty socks there. You may be woken up at 2 a.m., but you have someone you love sleeping beside you. Though these habits may seem irritating, they can be subtle reminders all throughout the day that you have someone who loves you.

Accentuate his strengths

You and your spouse each have flaws. Often, many of these flaws require just a quick fix. However, nobody wants someone who is perfect. Instead, you need someone who is trying; someone who is willing to work together to change. When these flaws and annoying habits surface, look at your spouses strengths and his willingness to try. Does he put his socks away for a few days in a row without being asked? Will he talk with you through an issue instead of pushing you away?

They force you to remain optimistic

In marriage, nothing is going to be perfect. There are going to be bumps in the road and you are going to get discouraged and frustrated. During these times, it is easy to let the small things ruin your entire day. Dont let picking up dirty socks lead you down a mental road of anger and frustration. Instead, force yourself to take a trip down memory lane. Think back to your honeymoon when you first noticed the dirty socks laying around, but were able to spend time focused on one another instead. Or, let yourself laugh for finding two pairs of dirty socks in a new hiding place and appreciate your spouses humor.

It helps you determine what battles are worth fighting

Of course, there are some habits that need to be addressed and discussed with your spouse. Not every bad habit can simply be pushed aside. So you need to determine which habits and weaknesses in a marriage need to be tackled. The small things can easily be pushed aside and laughed about; but the bigger ones are the battles you need to overcome together. Communication is key to ensuring your marriage stays strong and you dont dwell on one anothers weaknesses instead of strengths.

Once I started applying these new lessons to other things that drove me crazy, I realized that whether it is dirty socks or loud snoring at night, we all have habits that are going to drive our spouse crazy. It is our attitude and how we react and perceive these habits that will make all the difference.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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