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Why every kid should have a cellphone
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We talk a lot about the dangers that come along with kids having cellphones. But don't let them scare you to the extreme. The many benefits of children owning cellphones far outweigh the risks. - photo by Amy Iverson
Yes, your kid needs a cellphone. Im not going to tell you a specific age, but it should be before high school.

Whenever I give a presentation on internet safety, I talk about the many dangers of the internet, as well as how parents can educate themselves and have meaningful conversations with their children about all of it.

There will always be someone in the audience or in the comments section of every story I write who says, This is exactly why I will never buy my child a cellphone. To which I say, then you are setting up your child to be disadvantaged in many aspects of life.

Right now in the United States, 100 percent of people ages 18-29 own a cellphone, according to the Pew Research Center. One hundred percent. So, obviously, the kids whose parents denied them a cellphone while living at home went out and bought one after they turned 18 anyway.

I feel the majority of what I write about focuses on possible dangers. So today, here are just some of the reasons I think every child should have a cellphone.

Convenience

How many times have you rushed from work to pick up your kid from soccer practice, only to get there to wait 30 minutes because practice started late? A phone allows your child to send a quick text so you don't waste your time.

Or flip it and think of when you are running late picking up your child from dance because of traffic. Instead of your daughter being worried you have forgotten her, you shoot her a quick message.

Another convenience is the tracking features that some may call stalking, but I call parenting. Its nice to be able to check with a few taps (and without nagging) to see if your child has made it to play practice or to a friends house.

Safety

Ill never forget the first time I found out my friend had a mobile phone. Another driver hit us and my friend pulled over, yanked a large bag out of her console, unzipped it and pulled out a huge brick phone. It was such a relief that she had the ability (only to be used in emergencies) to call the police and her parents.

Today, who knows what type of emergencies our children could have? It could be a car accident. It could also be feeling uncomfortable at a party when everyone starts drinking alcohol. A cellphone can be a lifesaver for a teenager to notify someone for help.

The navigational tools are helpful too. When kids start driving, teaching them how to use these (hands-free) can save them from a lot of stress and from getting lost.

Responsibility

Just like buying a dog to teach responsibility, a phone helps children learn how to do things for themselves. Teens can use reminders for schoolwork or tasks for church or clubs.

They can also check their own calendars to keep track of practices and work schedules. And their phone is with them all the time, so no writing down something on their hand until they jot it down on a physical calendar.

Remember, kids want these phones and if mature enough will take care of them. Plus, they likely wont tire of them (like with a dog), and you wont get stuck with them when they head off to college.

School

Our school district uses the Remind app to let students and parents know about assignments and tests. My kids schools also use the Canvas app (iOS and Android) for turning in homework.

Yes, students could do these on a laptop, but its great that they can use their phones to catch up while youre driving them to band practice. A phone also gives students an easy way to check their grades to be more responsible for their own educational success.

Connectivity

There is no doubt that children communicate most with their friends though phones. Of course, they hang out together and still talk for hours, but they make all the plans through social media or texting.

If your child doesnt have the ability to text or use social media, will they be left out? Maybe. Maybe not. But they will definitely feel more connected to their peers with these options in hand. And don't forget family.

My kids text their grandparents and FaceTime with cousins who live states away. The ability of aunts and uncles and Cousin Taylor to keep up with (and be supportive of) your children's lives through social media is invaluable.

We are preparing our children to be independent thinkers and problem-solvers. We are not preparing our children to be 20-somethings who need parents to hold their hand every step of adulthood. A cellphone is a good way to help kids with supervision become responsible, connected citizens of this digital world.

Yes, there are downsides, but dont let thoughts of those disadvantages take you too far in the extreme. Decide which age is right for your child, and buy them a phone. Then guide them with lots of encouragement and communication into their cellphone-wielding future.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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