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Why adding to your family is not as scary as you thought
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Considering adding another child to your family, but scared of how it will change things? - photo by Megan Shauri
My first kids were twins. Yes, I started out with two children. I always knew I wanted at least one more kid, but actually going through with it was another story. I wasnt sure when the timing would be right. I was worried about how another child would affect the dynamic of our family and I had no idea how I was going to take care of a newborn and two toddlers all at the same time. It seems my struggles were similar to what most parents go through when having another child. It isnt making the leap from one to two or even three to four, but rather just the fact that you are considering adding another child to your home that seems to be the worry. Now that I have experienced my second pregnancy and third child, I discovered it is not as scary as I thought it would be. Here is what I found out:

You know what to expect

I remember sleepless nights, crying babies and struggling with breastfeeding. I didnt know if I was prepared for those things all over again. But knowing these things were coming helped me prepare for them. I was prepared for not being able to breastfeed or for having my days and nights reversed. And what I have found this time around is things were not as bad as I remembered. There are still sleepless nights, but Im not as tired as I thought I would be. It is like my body knows what to do and helps me adapt. I learned I can do it, and most importantly I am happy to do it.

You have helpers

There are not a whole lot of things toddlers can do to help, but the things they can do make a big difference. Getting a diaper or burp cloth, letting the dog in and out, and even holding the baby really make a big difference. I do not feel like I am getting up and down all the time or have to interrupt a nursing session because the dog has to go to the bathroom. I have trusted my kids to do more things on their own, like put a movie in the DVD player, put their toys away how they think they should go, and even get some snacks out of the fridge. It has helped me let go of some control and given them more responsibilities.

This is not your first rodeo

When things arise, like the baby crying or signs they may be getting sick, I know better what to do because I have gone through it before. It is not nearly as scary this time around because I know what to expect. In fact, both my husband and I feel much more relaxed with this baby. If she doesnt eat every three hours exactly, we dont sweat it. We know what to do if she gets baby acne or diaper rash; we know when to really worry about something and when something can be taken care of with simple fixes. It really is a much more tranquil experience.

Your love is exponential

I already knew it was possible to love more than one child as I started off with two, but I did worry about how a third child would change things. It is really amazing to see how your love just grows even more when a new child enters your home. My love for my newborn burst forth, but my love for my other children and my husband also grew. This baby has brought new experiences to our home and seeing how the kids interact with her makes me love them all even more.

You may regret not having more kids, but you will not regret the ones you have

Now that I have had my third child, I have already started wondering if I want more. Having this child makes me feel like it is possible to have more. It was not as big of a transition as I thought it would be and I know that it is possible to have multiple ages of children at one time. Sure there are challenges, but the benefits outweigh them.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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