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Where have all the good role models gone?
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UFC fighter Ronda Rousey has been called a role model. But athletes, especially those who compete in violent sports, may not be the best choices. - photo by Herb Scribner
UFC fighter Ronda Rouseys only loss came on Nov. 14, 2015, at the hands of Holly Holm. And since that time, Rousey has remained relatively quiet about how she accepted the loss.

Until now.

This week on Ellen Degeneres show, Rousey confessed that she had been on the brink of suicide following the loss, wondering if her life even mattered because she was no longer an undefeated fighter.

"I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself, and that exact second Im like, Im nothing, what do I do anymore, and no one gives a [expletive] about me anymore without this," she told DeGeneres, according to Vox.

She also told DeGeneres, though, that the loss taught her about accepting defeat in the face of failure.

I really do believe that Im still undefeated because being defeated is a choice, she said. Everybody has losses in their life but I choose to always be undefeated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwCdv9iR8P8

Rouseys words make her out to be somewhat of a role model for people, especially those who are going through trying times and may be faced with failure. Rousey especially inspires young American girls because of her body type not the paper thin model weve become accustomed to and her competitive edge. For Halloween, many teenage girls dressed up as the MMA fighter because they felt so inspired by her, according to MMA Junkie, a news site dedicated to cage fighting and mixed martial arts.

But Rousey admitted she isnt comfortable with the role model title shes received.

It is very flattering, Rousey said. I have tried to do my best, but sometimes I feel I am not infallible enough to really be the perfect role model for little girls. I try my best, thats the best that I can do. Im sure some mothers are happy about it and some dont approve and thats up to them and how they choose to parent.

Positive role models can be tough to find in todays society. In fact, its especially tough for athletes in violent sports, like fighting or football, to be role models for young people when they earn a paycheck for punching someone in the face.

According to The Center for Parenting Education, the perfect role model is someone that inspires children through their behavior. Its someone who will help children achieve accomplishments and develop without instructing them to do so. Children observe the habits of these role models and follow in their footsteps. Its someone kids can look up to.

But parents don't necessarily want their children to look up to someone who works in a violent sport. Too much exposure to sexual and violent content, especially at a young age, can pose a problem for children, according to a 2003 study by the American Psychological Association. Young people who are often exposed to these pieces of media tend to be more aggressive later in life. And research shows theres been an uptick in sex and violence in todays media, especially television shows and movies, making it even harder for children to find a role model that fits family values, according to the Parents Television Council.

Athletes like Rousey may seem like they fit the mold, too, but they don't always. For example, fighters specifically have all the characteristics of a role model humble, competitive, mentally strong but they continually cause violence, which isnt something children necessarily want to emulate, explained Matt Saccaro, a contributor for Bleacher Report.

Its even worse if an athlete uses drugs to enhance athletic ability. Suddenly a teen or childs world can come crumbling down if they find out his or her hero is involved with these drugs, he wrote.

Still, there have been some athletes from violent sports who have acted as positive role models despite their brutal jobs. One of these is Dwayne The Rock Johnson, who spent many years as a professional wrestler before turning to acting. Johnson constantly posts uplifting messages on his Instagram account, most of which are tied to his workout routines and grind-it-out attitude.

For example, Johnson recently posted a photo of himself lifting some heavy weights, along with the caption, days are going to ebb and flow with ups and downs, but like with any success we all work extremely hard for - consistency will always be the key. We can't control everything (though I try 'cause I'm a maniac;), but we can always control how on top of our game and prepared we're going to be when it's time to rock and roll.

And Johnson also showed his giving nature when he saved his two puppies from drowning in his pool. The two puppies rushed and dipped into the pool just after he set them down on the ground. The Rock sprang into action, diving into the water to rescue the dogs.

Like Johnson, current professional wrestler John Cena has also proven to be an inspiring role model for children, despite his more violent job. By August of last year, Cena had granted 500 wishes for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, ESPN reported.

"I just drop everything," Cena told ESPN. "If I can offer a fantastic experience, I'll be first in line to do my part."

NBA star Steph Curry is another example of a positive athlete role model, too. Hes a devout Christian who remains humble and tends to stay away from trouble. Hes a father and husband aww, remember Riley Curry? and constantly looks towards his faith for inspiration. And while the NBA is not nearly as violent as football or cage fighting, Curry still appears to be a positive role model for children.

I love to play the game, and I love when good things happen, he said, according to Chris Chandler of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. But when I get home, its about my family and just enjoying the blessings in my life without letting [basketball] define my personality or my character. The time with my wife is huge so we can continue to grow and not be complacent with where we are in our walk with Christ. Obviously, we can all be better at that.

But if athletes dont sit well with parents as role models, parents may need to become the perfect role model for their child instead, The Center for Parenting Education.

Children spend a lot of time with their parents, so they will often see how their parents take on lifes challenges. So if parents display positive behavior when theyre around their children, they can be the role model that their child really needs.

Role modeling is one of the most powerful tools you have in your parenting tool belt to influence the direction of your childrens character, whatever their age, according to the CPE. When used to best advantage, you can pass on the values you want your children to adopt so that they become the adults you would like them to be.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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