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When times are tough, stick together and be strong
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A large winter storm dumps snow along the Wasatch Front Monday, Dec. 14, 2015. Amy Choate-Nielsen writes about lessons she learned recently while driving in a snow storm with her family. - photo by Amy Choate-Nielsen
On Wednesday morning, the sun was shining brightly.

The sky was blue. The air was fresh. The temperature was 67 degrees, and I just couldnt bear to leave it.

At home, the skies were gloomy and cold. There was snow on the ground and a million responsibilities were waiting for me. Here, on vacation in southern Utah, my family was together. We were having fun. We used the sun to warm our backs as we scaled piles of sandstone, scrambled over petrified dunes and hiked just long enough for our feet to hurt and our peanut butter and honey sandwiches to taste delicious.

I couldnt bear to leave it.

So, Wednesday morning, we took our time. We took a detour. We arrived at Zion National Park and decided to do one last hike together before driving home.

And this is where I began to learn my lesson a lesson that came with clear instructions to tell my children what happened in the hopes that someday, they would remember.

My family loves to hike or at least, they tolerate it. Even the 3-year-old can handle a 4-mile hike pretty well with minimal carrying and cajoling. I think they like the thrill that comes from being alone in nature. I think they feel empowered by their bodies to move and be wild among the lizards and juniper bushes. Their dreams are bigger. They feel invincible and vulnerable at the same time, and it is exciting.

Sometimes their freedom becomes a little dangerous.

On this particular hike, the trail went up to an overlook. A passerby warned us of the steep drop-offs along the way as our kids ran ahead on the flat ground. As we reached the incline, my husband and I held the younger childrens hands. The 3-year-old was amenable, the 6-year-old was not.

We put our bodies on the outside of the bends in the trail, closest to the drop-off, and tightly squeezed their hands to keep them from getting too far ahead. At one point, my husband hollered at the 6-year-old to stay close. The trail cut straight into the mountain, and anyone who fell off its ledge would surely be seriously injured, if not killed. He balked, but relented, and our family of five walked in a tight line past the dangerous portion of the trail back to safety.

The closer we were, the safer we were.

Two hours later, as we were halfway through our four-hour drive home, the sunny sky faded to black and ominous clouds swirled all around us. Suddenly, we couldnt see the road in front of us.

The wind howled as millions of tiny snowflakes enveloped our car. Looking ahead, all we could see was an infinite mass of white zooming toward our windshield like stars speeding past the window of a rocket on hyper-drive in deep space.

We were scared. The kids were distracted, watching movies, but I felt a terror rising deep in my throat that felt like I couldnt breathe. I recognized the sincere possibility that my family would end up in a ditch somewhere on this dark road in the middle of nowhere. My pulse was racing. My hands were clenched. I just wanted it to end.

At the worst point, we noticed three semi-trailer trucks driving in a line along the side of the road. Their taillights were like a beacon. They were slow and steady, marking the way. When we couldnt see the lines ourselves, we moved over and joined the line. Immediately, we felt safer. We were still scared, but it was better. We were no longer alone.

We followed the caravan for about an hour, feeling on edge the whole time, until it was safer to move on. The harrowing experience lasted another three hours, varying in intensity and danger, until we made it home. I have never been so glad to be home as I was then.

It struck me that the tight line of semis we followed on the freeway was like the tight line my family formed on the hike earlier that day. There is safety in numbers, I learned. There is strength in togetherness. That is the lesson I want my children to know. In times of trial and terror, stick together. Look around at each other and draw strength. See one another, and give love.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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