By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Valentine's Day fails (from an experienced husband)
0323dce9559e00f2b298e091406f7edcd098779b72021114eca9a6f5273117b3
The line between what is romantic and what will get a man arrested is a little too fine if you ask me. - photo by Davison Cheney
I have always tried to get a jump on things in my Valentine's Day preparation because if I don't plan ahead, people get hurt. It seems the better prepared I am, the fewer the medical costs.

No-vowel skywriting

Last year, I got such a late start that Valentines Day might have been a complete disaster if it wasn't for a last-minute cancellation my skywriter friend had. So, the only problem ended up being that I was a little cash poor and couldnt afford any vowels ...

ILVY.

Imagined halftime shows

The only other viable option I came up with was to hope the Green Bay cheerleaders, the Cheesettes, got my message in time to spell out my wifes name with giant cheese crackers during halftime of the Super Bowl. But the Packers lost, and the Cheesettes went back to their jobs in high finance. Big plans, no crackers, game over.

So you see, I had but days to pull off the ultimate in romantic demonstrations. Truth be told, I am not very good at figuring out the difference between a) what will be romantic and b) what will get me hospitalized or arrested.

Any sudden and noticeable development in wisdom or maturity aside, I am probably never going to be allowed back into LaVell Edwards Stadium. Suffice it to say that anything with a bungee and a grass skirt is out. No, I would rather not talk about it.

Elementary doily Valentine

When I was young, all I had to do was trace my profile onto a paper heart-shaped doily. Then I would wax quixotic and write something charming and repetitive on the back like, You are supper, supper! I'm not sure what I was going for, but it was clear to everyone, even at the tender age of 7, that I needed a hot meal and spell check. No longer can I get away with adorable and daft like I did in grade school.

Blood in the water

When I first started seeing someone romantically in college I bought a gallon of fabric dye to color the water at a university fountain a rosy red to show undying devotion to my girlfriend, who I had been dating for ... Well, I had said hi to her before our Andrew Lloyd Webber class ... twice.

On paper it was dramatic, daring and quirky. However, what looked like Hawaiian Punch spurting out of an aquatic clam shell may have been a little too "Old Testament" if you know what I mean. Hindsight being 20/20 I probably should have stuck with a balloon-o-gram instead of a failed plague on Egypt.

Diamond in the rough

Next case: I heard in a Disney movie a character being referred to as a "diamond in the rough." Such a sweet and childlike thought! What could possibly express my love more than to acknowledge my partner's untapped, undiscovered potential. I was determined to demonstrate to her that I, if no one else, knew her real value. I did this by presenting her with a hunk of coal and an old brass lamp.

Coupon catastrophe

Ever heard of creating charming coupons for the object-of-ones-affection to cash in later? I thought it was a great idea, too. So, I made cards out of bright construction paper for a touch of whimsy. I combined it with a promotion from a local business for a gift of self-improvement that couldnt go wrongcolorful vouchers for a terrific deal on laser hair removal!

At least I wrapped it.

Pink house for a pink day

My greatest debacle was what my wife refers to as "the time of deep shadow." That was the February I painted the front of our house a lovely unexpected color. The shade was called Begonia."

My thought process was that I would shock my wife for a day by fooling her into thinking I was serious, then paint over it the next day. However, the weather turned from tepid to cold to an Arctic nightmare, at which point my employer sent me to Albuquerque. The front of our house stayed flaming pink for 2 and a half months.

The neighbors paid Google Maps to blur out the entire block and had traffic cones set out to divert traffic. My mother-in-law suggested we run with it and hang a velvet painting of Elvis on the garage door and put a couch on the lawn.

Out-of-this-world love

Now, there are only a few days left before 2016 Valentine's Day, and I am fresh out of ideas. How will my wife know I love her without a hazardous and Herculean stunt? I thought to make a scale replica of Devils Tower with my mother-in-law's fudge recipe and spackle. I could then attach blinking Christmas lights like an incoming alien space ship, we could all hum the theme song from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," and I could say something like, "Our love is out of this world."

Keep it simple, Stupid

My wife says to forget outer space. She says if I really love her, I will show her how much I care by staying out of the hospital and by being sweet to her ... quietly.

I guess I could try a rose and a poem. It would give me another year to heal. What rhymes with ILVY?
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries