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Too young, too old or just right? Does age determine whether or not you'll divorce?
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Even though the statistics say you could be more likely to get divorced based on your age, you still have control over whether or not that will be true for you and your marriage. It takes work and dedication to reach success, but it is possible. - photo by Wendy Jessen
How old were you and your spouse when you got married?

It may seem like an inconsequential factor for whether or not your marriage will succeed, but some studies show it could be.

In a Family Studies article by author and Family and Consumer Studies professor, Nicholas H. Wolfinger, stated, "...age at marriage now has a U-shaped relationship to divorce risk. The odds of divorce decline as you age from your teenage years through your late twenties and early thirties. Thereafter, the chances of divorce go up again as you move into your late thirties and early forties..."

In essence, if you marry too young or too old, you may be at a higher risk of divorce. This wasn't always the casethe instances of divorce used to decrease as the marriage age increased, according to Wolfinger. Based on this study, the best age to get married is between 28 and 32 years old.

OK, just because there may be a majority of people that follow this trend, that does not mean you have to. There are many factors that can affect the success of your marriage besides age. Probably the biggest indicator of a successful marriage is how much work you and your spouse are willing to put into itregardless of how young or old you are.

How can you have a successful marriage even if you've married "too young" or "too old"?

Forgive often.

Nothing kills a relationship faster than holding grudges. Let go of the negativity and focus on the good things about your spouse. Being unforgiving will lead to unhappiness and being unsatisfied with your marriage. Your spouse isn't perfect, but hey, neither are you. Successful marriages are built on a lot of forgiveness.

Improve yourself.

If there is something that you do that annoys your spouse and it is changeable, then fix it. We all have bad habits or behaviors that need improvement. If you're grouchy, messy, lazy, use a mean tone of voice to communicate or have a problem with being selfish, then you need to work on bettering yourself. Set goals and work toward them. Ask your spouse for support and encouragement in this endeavor.

Grow together.

Find common goals to share with your spouse. Do you want to further your education, have greater financial security, raise a family and live a healthy lifestyle? Making these types of goals together can be a growing experience for couples. Succeeding and achieving can strengthen your bond. Even if things don't go according to plan (as they often won't), it is often through times of struggle that we rely on each other's strength and support. Sharing the same life goals is important in a marriage because you will work together instead of against each other.

Never speak ill of your spouse to another person.

Sometimes people decide they need to vent about some terrible thing their spouse did. Whomever they tell may fuel the fire rather than help the situation. Not only that but long after the problem is resolved, the person you tolda friend, family member or co-workermay continue to harbor negative feelings toward your spouse. This can perpetuate more negativity, hurt feelings or embarrassment in the future. If it really needs to be discussed, a counselor, therapist or clergy would be your best option. Instead, praise your spouse in public and in private.

Set aside time to be together.

I'm a huge advocate of date nights. Before marriage, we get to know each other through dating. Sometimes, we forget that we still need to maintain our relationship after we're married. We change as individuals and couples throughout our life, and if we stop spending time together, we may discover we're now married to a stranger.

Make date nights a priority in your marriage. Use that time to talk, discuss the past week, be close to one another, flirt, hold hands and, of course, be intimate with each other. Spending time together allows for emotional, physical, spiritual and intellectual bonding. This is necessary to have a successful and united marriage.

Even though the statistics say you could be more likely to get divorced based on your age, you still have control over whether or not that will be true for you and your marriage. It takes work and dedication to reach success, but it is possible.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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