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Times have changed but childhood curiosity stays the same
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The list went on, including things like refrigerators, ovens and televisions. - photo by Amy Choate-Nielsen
My kids think I am old.

They asked me recently, Mom, were there cars when you were growing up?

Yes, there were cars, I said.

Oh right, but not seat belts, they said.

No, we had seat belts, I replied, laughing.

Oh right, but not telephones, they said.

The list went on, including things like refrigerators, ovens and televisions. They were shocked that we did have all of those things when I was a child, although refrigerators have gotten a lot sleeker, making ice and pouring water and saying hello to you in the morning; and ovens these days can clean themselves and cook two things at once on different temperature. The television I grew up with was a big box with a black and white picture and a knob that changed the channels because there werent remote controls.

They think everything was different when I grew up. And sometimes, I agree.

When I was a kid, I came home from school and watched TV until my head hurt, and then I went outside. I rode my bike all over the neighborhood, all alone, and I climbed rocks and trees and rolled around in sweet-smelling grass that was more like hay. Every day seemed long.

Every day it seemed like I had time for TV, time to play outside, hours before bedtime and the same thing to do tomorrow.

In the winter, I got myself bundled up and I went out into the snow. I liked to scoop the frozen crystals into a cup and add sugar and vanilla then eat it with a spoon like it was a snow cone. I loved sledding down the long, steep hill behind my house until it was dark and I was freezing.

I had a lot of freedom, and life was simple. Email didnt come until later, the internet wasnt really a part of my life until college, and I was in my late 20s before I ever had a smartphone.

Things have changed even more since my grandmother was born in 1911. That was before Scotch tape was invented in 1930, before non-leaking ballpoint pens were invented in 1935. She was 9 years old before Band-Aids were available, and 60 years old before bar codes were used in grocery stores. Chocolate chips and chocolate chip cookies werent even a thing until my grandmother was 20 years old.

If my life was simple, hers must have been unencumbered to the point of difficulty just imagine, no pens! No chocolate chips! Not to mention a long list of inventions that were meant to make life more convenient. I imagine everyday tasks were a little harder, and took a little longer. I wonder what she would say her childhood was like.

The life my children live, 100 years after my grandmother was born, seems to be accommodated to the point of difficulty. They have pens and chocolate chips and televisions and computers and phones and internet they can hold in their hands. Things are so easy, its hard.

They have car seats and dietary restrictions and limits on how long they should see screens and expectations of how much they should read books. They know more than I did when I was their age. They ask questions I never would have dreamed of, like, Who are you texting, Mom? And Mom, ask Siri whats the biggest whale in the world.

Sometimes their questions make me laugh, like yesterday, when my daughter said, How does the phrase, kick the bucket have anything to do with death?

I didnt know the answer, but at least its something Fleeta, with her Scotch tape and Velcro; I, with my World Wide Web and old school email; and my kids, with their smartphones and Alexa can think about.

Maybe one day, my great-grandchildren, with their robots and flying cars, will ask the same.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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