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The very best gift to your one and only: a new, slimmer you
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Too often, dieting is thought of only as a health issue, and peoples incentive is about themselves and their desire to feel better, live longer, and look like they want to look. There is a stronger incentiveand it is called LOVE! - photo by Linda and Richard Eyre
Note: This is the second article in a 4-part series on "The Sweetheart Diet"

There was widespread interest in our previous article about starting a more logical and practical diet for the benefit of our spouses or sweethearts. It seems that a straightforward diet based on simply reducing the quantity of food you eat has a lot of appeal; and doing it for the one you love most is a greater motivation than doing it for yourself.

Too often, dieting is thought of only as a health issue, and peoples incentive is about themselves and their desire to feel better, live longer, and look like they want to look. These are pretty powerful motivations, but usually not powerful enough to reach weight loss goals or to keep weight off once it is lost. And there is a stronger incentivelove! When you undertake a difficult diet and when you do it as a gift to the person you love mostyou have maximum motivation. And the best and most natural kind of diet to use is not some complicated or expensive or fad-of-the-month plan, but a simple commitment to eat only half of each meal and to only snack between meals on fruits or vegitables.

The best metaphor for this type of disciplined portion control form of dieting is the act of bridling a head-strong and powerful horse so that you can control him rather than him controlling you. If we can learn to bridle our appetites and gain enough control that we can stop halfway through a mealhalf of what we normally would eatwe gradually begin to train our appetites to seek quality food rather than quantity, and our enjoyment in eating goes up even as the amount we eat goes down.

As we were thinking about it after that first article, we happened to listen to an episode of the Diane Rehm Show on NPR on which four scientists concluded that getting more fruit and vegetables, along with reducing the amount of food people eat, is the most effective way of losing weight and keeping it off and can have a powerful effect on preventing disease and living longer lives.

But here is the problem: its so much easier to say it than to do it.

Most people know if they could just limit their intake by half if they could eat only half of each meal and only snack between meals on fruit or vegetables they would lose weight and feel stronger and healthier. And they know they should become masters of their appetites rather than slaves to them. And they know that losing weight and feeling better would be the best gift they could give to their spouses and children.

But appetites are strong very strong. And denying oneself food, or stopping eating before feeling full, is very hard indeed.

The first article in this mini-series suggested the approach of simply eat half of each meal and to bridle appetites until eating half becomes a habit.

Just trying to instantly adopt the eat-half habit is extremely difficult, but there are two pre-habits we can develop first which help prepare to put our appetite more under control so we can reach the eat-half habit.

Think of these two pre-habits as the bridle that controls the horse of appetite:

1. The water habit

Commit yourself to drinking a tall glass of water immediately before every meal. This will partially fill your stomach, take the edge off your hunger and make it easier to eat only half of your usual meal. Extend the water habit by also taking a drink of at least a cup of water before snacking or eating anything between meals.

Dr. Noall Wolff, who wrote the preface for our new book "The Half-Diet Diet," tells us that few Americans drink enough water and that many are chronically dehydrated without even knowing it. As a byproduct of helping you eat half, the water habit will keep you hydrated.

2. The slow habit

Forming patterns that help you eat more slowly and deliberately will make the eat-half habit easier. Start by taking smaller bites. Big, full-mouth bites can smother your taste buds and actually make food less enjoyable. Small bites and slower chewing and swallowing allow you to taste your food more and can make your food taste better. We need to quit the gulping, gorging and guzzling of gluttony and start the smelling, sipping and savoring of a more sensory and artistic form of eating.

A simple way to get into this habit is to put your fork down on the table between each of your small bites. As you are chewing and savoring a bite, instead of heaping up your fork with your next bite, set it down until you swallow. Then pick it up and arrange your next small bite.

Once you feel you have mastered the water habit and the slow habit, you are prepared to make a serious attempt at the eat-half habit. When you are ready, set up a check-off calendar and see how many days in a row you can observe the water habit, the slow habit and the eat-half habit. Once you reach 21 straight days, you will have officially gained three new habits that can benefit you, your sweetheart (or your spouse and your children) for the rest of your life.

Watch for the next article in this series which will outline an easier way to approach the one other essential element in the for your sweetheart dietthe oft-dreaded element of exercise.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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