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The potentially deadly game posing a real danger for kids
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The message from Instagram when users search for #bluewhalechallenge - photo by Amy Iverson
You may have seen the posts making the rounds on Facebook noting that an Alabama school district is warning parents about a disturbing game. Many of the posts claim the challenge is to blame for the suicides of 130 Russian teenagers. Since the district linked to articles on several websites that tend to sensationalize the facts, one is left to wonder if its all urban legend or a true threat.

The Blue Whale Challenge sounds like something straight from a horror movie. A sinister villain blackmails your child into harming themselves with the threat of physical violence to family members. Allegedly, administrators find vulnerable kids who post about suicide and self-harm through social media and specific hashtags. Then, administrators challenge those users to complete 50 days of tasks. Some of the rumored challenges include listening to certain songs, standing on the edges of rooftops and cutting themselves. The final challenge supposedly demands the player to commit suicide.

Fact checker, Snopes, says the game is named after the way whales sometimes beach themselves and then die. It also describes how a Russian website posted a story about the suicides of 130 teenagers there who belonged to the same death group on Russias version of Facebook. But Radio Free Europe reports investigators cannot definitively link a single death in Russia to the Blue Whale Challenge.

The Baldwin County Public School System in Alabama that warned its parents of the game has no evidence that anyone in its schools is playing. Another school district in Denver also sent out a warning (at the request of one school), again, with no evidence that anyone is participating. Its precautionary, officials there say.

So are we freaking everybody out about a threat that doesnt even exist? Not quite.

Whether the Blue Whale Challenge has actually caused any deaths, the fact is that people are searching out this so-called game on social media. When you type in the hashtag on Instagram, the following warning pops up, Can we help? Posts with words or tags you're searching for often encourage behavior that can cause harm and even lead to death. If youre going through something difficult, wed like to help. It then gives you the option to "Get Support" and allows you to talk to a friend, contact a helpline or get tips. Nicely done, Instagram. But, it also gives users the option to "See Posts Anyway."

If users click on that, it takes you to all the posts where people have used the hashtag #bluewhalechallenge. These include quite a few photos of self-mutilation, sometimes involving the shape of a whale. Some of the posts are very disturbing with a lot of blood. It's definitely nothing parents would want their children to see. Youll find similar posts on Facebook, with no warning. Youll also find them on Twitter, with the added horror of many users asking game administrators to find them, saying they are "ready to play."

There are countless groups on Facebook focusing on self-harm and suicide. Granted, many of them claim to help people struggling with those issues. But these groups can actually cause more harm than good. Stephen Palmer is the director of the Coaching Psychology Unit at City University in London. He tells The Tab (a university news network) that since professionals are most often not leading these groups, the interactions can have severe and lasting consequences.

The Blue Whale Challenge (whether its real or not) is yet another reason parents should be monitoring what children are doing and with whom theyre communicating online. More importantly, parents should always keep an open dialogue going with their children, so that if kids are having depressive, self-harm or suicidal thoughts, they will feel comfortable talking about it.

Anyone who is a parent knows, that while we have good intentions, its not always as easy as it sounds to have that type of relationship. Safe Smart Social reminds parents that loving your child means taking actions that may make your child not like you at times. That may include monitoring your kids online activity on occasion.

Finally, if your children have searched out the Blue Whale hashtag, talk with them about it and possibly alert their school. Other parents will want to know if this ugly game has reared its head in your area.

When I asked the FBI if the Blue Whale Challenge was on its radar, a spokesperson reiterated the need to share information, saying "While the FBI does not comment on specific apps, we want to make users and parents aware of the potential risks and vulnerabilities that online and social media mechanisms can pose. We encourage users to be vigilant and to report any suspicious activity to law enforcement.

We must report criminal things we see online, and we must support those who struggle.

If you or someone you know is wrestling with thoughts of suicide, here are two good ways to take the first step toward help: Text START to 74174 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline #800-273-8255.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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