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The owner of a diner yelled at someone's child and now the entire Internet has an opinion
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As The Deseret News Nationals Chandra Johnson reported July 16, a report by the Pew Research Center found that three-quarters of 21st-century parents admit to using social media for emotional support and parenting questions. - photo by JJ Feinauer
The Internet has had no small effect on the culture of parenting.

As was reported July 16, a report by the Pew Research Center found that three-quarters of 21st-century parents admit to using social media for emotional support and parenting questions.

As with all things on the Internet, what can be used to support and inform can also be used to correct and even shame.

Thus, it seems, is the case of a new dispute out of Portland, Maine, that has pitted a local restaurant owner against the parenting methods of a New York family.

According to Portlands WCSH6, the Carson family, parents and toddler, was dining at Marcy's Diner on Oak Street in Portland's downtown on a friends suggestion. During their meal, restaurant owner Darla Neugebauer became agitated at their child's behavior.

After listening to a child scream at the top of her lungs in my very busy restaurant, I screamed at her and told her it had to stop," Neugebauer told WCH6.

As is often the case these days, Neugebauers outburst didnt remain within the walls of her diner. According to Maine Eater, Neugebauer (who co-owns the restaurant) took to Facebook to air her grievances, complaining that the rotten child was disrupting her other 75 patrons, and the parents were simply ignoring their screaming child. The post was full of profanity and personal insults to the family.

The Carsons also took their experience to the Internet, posting a complaint to the restaurants Facebook page that claimed they had the worst experience at the diner and argued that if the owners couldnt handle a crying child, they are not suitable to run a business.

Tara Carson, the childs mother, told WCH6 that her child was crying but not screaming or throwing a temper tantrum for an hour, as Neugebauer insists.

"I felt helpless as a mom that, you know, I couldn't do anything to help her because I can't explain why there's crazy people in this world that behave like that," Carson said.

Now that there are two versions of the story being passed around on the Internet, the issue has gravitated toward an essentially partisan conflict of parenting methods. As Buzzfeed reported, the incident has gone viral and turned into an argument over how parents should handle misbehaving children in restaurants.

If his/her parents can't be bothered to look after/attend to their child, esp(ecially) in public, and even more so in your property, then you have every right to be concerned about the effect on other patrons, one commenter said on Marcys Facebook page. My mother wouldn't have allowed my siblings and I to behave like that and neither would my sister with my niece.

The situation has escalated to national media coverage, with The New York Times explaining that the conflict fits into a larger trend of restaurants refusing to serve parents with noisy children.

Parents who want to include their children in adult outings feel theyre no more burdensome than the loud talkers or drunken prom-goers at the next table, Quartzs Roya Wolverson wrote last year while reporting on the trend. Naysayers say the kids are a nuisance or a danger and often point the finger of blame at more permissive parenting among the middle classes.

As a matter of clarification, Tara Carson published a further justification of what happened that day at the diner, and the attacks at her parenting skills were front and center.

Am I a perfect parent? Certainly not, she wrote for the Washington Post. But I do know that these things happen. Babies cry and sometimes moms make the call between a tantrum in the loud diner or going out into the rain.

For Marcys Diner, any public backlash hasnt seemed to hurt. The Washington Post reports that the viral dispute brought the diner the busiest Monday in the four years Neugebauer has owned it.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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