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Surviving May and the end-of-the-school-year gantlet
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BYU graduates march to the Marriott Center for graduation ceremony. - photo by Tiffany Gee Lewis
May Day! May Day!

Congratulations, parents, you survived another May.

Youve come through the gantlet that is end-of-the year recitals, orchestra concerts, band concerts and middle-school musicals.

Award ceremonies. Senior graduation parties. Preschool graduation parties. Kindergarten graduation parties. College graduation parties. More sheet cake than you thought possible.

Prom. The Mormon kind and the regular kind, which are exactly the same, but now we have two dresses to find instead of one.

And banquets. Enough banquets to fill you to bursting.

Finals. Final projects. Science projects. End-of-the-year comprehensive tests. Advanced Placement exams. SATs and ACTs.

There are teacher gifts to think about, too, something creative and Pinteresty and meaningful that doesnt have an apple image stamped on it somewhere.

Youve dug under the bed and between couch cushions for the lost school library books. Youve teased out the last few weeks of school with only pencil stubs and scrap paper. There are holes in the bottom of the backpacks. The lunchboxes have gone moldy. The school clothes are tight, stained and torn. (Hey, its fashionable!) The sneaker laces have frayed on the ends.

Youre too tired to care.

So are the teachers.

You started the school year packing lunches with five courses and a daily note written in calligraphy on a paper napkin. Now, at the end of the year, the kids get PB&J slapped on the two heels of bread, with a side of dried-out baby carrots and a bruised apple.

Theyre too tired to care.

Because even though you started the year having everyone in bed by 7:30, summer is now taunting your kids right out the door, and they cannot be compelled to go to bed until the sun agrees, and the sun never agrees before 9 p.m.

Forget December. The hardest month to be a parent is May. You are stretched as wide as a spiderweb, trying desperately to catch the events as they fly by. You cling to a schedule that no longer agrees. You try to be disciplined with pen and paper when the air around you screams ice pops and pools.

But look at this youve done it. Youve come through another year. Somewhere in the corner a fiddler is playing Pomp and Circumstance just for you. You are rising to the podium to give your speech, to thank those teachers who have shepherded your children, the coaches and music instructors, to thank Target for helping you through the slime craze and the internet for guiding you through the Halloween parade and crazy-hair day.

Along the way a child has learned to read. Or passed calculus, a small miracle. Or made the high school football team, painted a self-portrait in exact likeness, memorized all 50 states and capitals, discovered that Shakespeare isnt so bad.

You in turn have learned some good things. (Next school year, more freezer meals, fewer PTA responsibilities. Also, buy more glue sticks when theyre on sale.)

You have made it through May. You are dipping your toes into June, casting off the school calendar like an old backpack, and looking toward the yawning chasm of summer vacation with the hope of sunshine and family road trips.

And rest assured that when the sunburned days of September come rolling around and the swimsuits have faded and the flip-flops have worn through and youve eaten enough watermelon to turn pink, youll stand as tall as a newly sharpened pencil, ready to tackle the adventure that another school year brings.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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