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Some fraternities are under fire, but are all fraternities bad?
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News reports from the last year show an increasing amount of fraternities cause controversy across college campuses. But are there any benefits? - photo by Herb Scribner
Both the Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity and the Alpha Phi sorority at the University of California Los Angeles found themselves under fire Thursday morning after hosting a Kanye Western party, in which partygoers dressed up in baggy clothes, plumped lips and padded bottoms and, in some cases, black face by way of charcoal, according to The Daily Bruin, UCLAs student newspaper.

This inspired several student groups, like the Afrikan Student Union, to call for UCLA officials to take action against the fraternity for the party, The Daily Bruin reported.

Its extremely disrespectful for any organization at all to think that this is possibly a good idea, Keslee Thomas, member of the ASU, told The Daily Bruin. I understand the play on words, but there are so many other ways (to dress) to fit that.

UCLA released an email statement that said students are free to celebrate in ways that draw on popular culture, but to be mindful that certain outfits and costumes could offend students, The Daily Bruin reported.

But these two Greek organizations werent the only ones to find themselves under fire this week. The Alpha Tau Omega fraternity at Indiana University was suspended after a video of sexual harassment hazing went viral across the Internet this week, according to The Washington Post.

Though responses were mixed about how bad the hazing was, the National Office of the Alpa Tau Omega fraternity closed the IU chapter and revoked its charter, The Post reported.

These are just two recent cases of fraternities causing controversy on college campuses. Earlier this year, University of Oklahomas Sigma Alpha Epsilon house was shut down after a video of frat members reciting a racist chant while riding on a bus leaked online, CNN reported. And Old Dominion Universitys Sigma Nu was suspended after it hung sexually suggestive banners on the front porch on the same weekend freshmen arrived on campus, according to Fox News.

There are almost too many scenarios to name. In the spring semester of 2015, 133 fraternity and sorority chapters among 55 American colleges were shut down, suspended, or otherwise punished after alleged offenses, including excessive partying, hazing, racism and sexual assault, according to Bloomberg.

With all these controversies, parents have voiced concern about their own college student joining a fraternity, according to The New York Times Lisa Belkin. After all, many fraternities encourage heavy drinking and behaviors that not all parents are comfortable with, Belkin wrote.

If a parent is philosophically opposed to these groups because they subdivide a campus and codify the rights of 20-somethings to pass judgment on each other, should that parent forbid a child to join? What if the concern is more personal and less global? Belkin wrote.

But not all fraternities are embroiled in controversy, Cornell University President David J. Skorton wrote for The New York Times in 2011, saying some fraternities offer students academic and social benefits.

The Greek system is part of our universitys history and culture, and we should maintain it because at its best, it can foster friendship, community service and leadership, he wrote.

In fact, as The Atlantics Maria Konnikova reported in February 2014, 18 U.S. presidents were members of a college fraternity before taking office. Moreover, 85 percent U.S. Supreme Court justices and 63 percent of all presidential cabinet members since 1900 have been fraternity men.

In that sense, then, fraternities really do breed leaders a cohort of young men dedicated to being loyal, being knowledgeable, and embracing the skills of leadership success, who hone said skills through bonding activities, community service, charity fundraising and other community-minded endeavors, Konnikova wrote.

Aside from just creating potential leaders, fraternities are often charitable organizations, too. According to the North-American Interfraternity Conference, between 2013 and 2014, fraternities raised $20.3 million and worked 3.8 million community service hours.

Some fraternities are also going out of their way to promote good values. For example, students at San Diego State University are in the process of establishing a Buddhist fraternity and sorority in order to spread kindness and compassion throughout campus, which are skills students can use the rest of their lives, our own Payton Davis reported.

And many universities, like Hofstra and William Woods University, offer guides to fraternity and sorority life to help prepare students for what to expect, and explicitly state that the university doesn't encourage hazing of any kind, and that any reported incidents of such will be handled with possible expulsion from school or chapter suspension.

But some parents may still be worried about the potential dangers their children may face when joining a fraternity or sorority.

The NAIC offers some tips for concerned parents on how to talk to their students about joining such a group on campus.

First, parents should encourage their children to find a student group that makes them feel safe and comfortable. This way theyll have the best memories and have access to the best resources while in college, according to NAIC.

Parents should also remind their students to put academics first and be weary of potential hazing and drinking dangers that exist among fraternities.

Most importantly, parents and students alike should ask questions about what their fraternities offer and embrace, according to the NAIC.

Does the sorority or fraternity have a reputation as a party place or a study place? Dr. Michelle Barratt, professor of pediatrics at the University of Texas at Houston, told the NAIC. What is the teens focus social or educational? Is under-age drinking encouraged, allowed or banned? What are the other living options for their college? What does the teen see as the pros and cons for those options? How will they feel if they are not chosen into their No. 1 house?"

Having a conversation with your student about the pros and cons of being Greek could help them make a better decision.

John McCormick is one parent who's had to deal with his son wanting to join a fraternity. According to his article for The Huffington Post, McCormick encouraged his son to join a frat, since he had been in one and had an enjoyable experience.

But after he read Atlantic writer Caitlin Flanagan's in-depth look at modern fraternities, McCormick wasn't completely convinced his son should join a fraternity.

So, instead of dispelling the idea completely and causing a rift with his son, McCormick said he was going to teach his son about fraternities ahead of time so the soon-to-be college student could make an informed decision.

"I plan to make the issue of joining a fraternity a teachable moment as a parent," McCormick wrote. "I'll invite my son to look at all sides of fraternity membership before he jumps in. I'll suggest he read articles about modern fraternity life, including ones that expose some fraternities as not really being so 'brotherly' after all, especially when they're so prepared to cut students loose after one of these incidents."

McCormick also wrote that he planned on discussing good values and priorities with his son to make sure that whatever fraternity he wanted to join upheld those good values.

"I'll take comfort in knowing that if I raised my son well, I won't have to worry about him being a rabble-rouser or trouble-maker," McCormick wrote. "And that he'll develop his own grounded opinions about fraternity life once he's informed. When the time comes for a final decision whether to join a fraternity, it will be his to make."
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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