By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
One weird way Facebook can help your marriage in the long run
ee63aa2d0334eb2e78d681405bbff7a12732f3d97f4ad5329e22ccc36fc728b8
dont be afraid to share the good news of your marriage on social media, and embrace all the likes and comments that come your way. It is only going to help you and your spouse in the end. - photo by Tamsyn Valentine
You see it all the time. You are scrolling down your Facebook news feed, and there it is, the Im engaged! post.

For some, it is an annoyance; for others, it's a chance to stalk all of the couple's cute photos and be reminded true love actually exists.

Whatever your feelings are about these posts, its plain to see they receive a lot of reactions: hundreds of likes, comments and heart-eyed emojis.

I experienced this myself when I announced my husband's and my engagement, and I was actually flattered and humbled by all the love and support we received because of our happy news.

I promise this is not some sort of #humblebgrag but instead a chance to share something really important about starting off your marriage.

You see, social media now gives people the opportunity to support your relationship, which is very beneficial for a long-lasting marriage.

Marriage takes a community

It is often forgotten that back in the day wedding celebrations were a community event, with whole villages involved in the process. (And, actually, there are certain areas of the world where this is still the case.)

This played an important part in the marriage of the two individuals because it meant there was a whole group of people behind them and supporting their union. What makes us think we dont need that now?

A 2014 study by Emery University reports that couples who had 200 or more guests at their wedding were 92-percent less likely to divorce than those who did not. The study also shows that this doesnt have to do with spending more money on the wedding itself.

This is important because it is not the big lavish wedding that is important. It's just the people who come and create this loving community that is important to a long-lasting matrimony.

Marriage makes a community

So the question is this: why do we care so much about a person'swhether it be a friend's, relative's, or stranger'smarriage?

In the end we care because we know marriage is a good thing but something that is faltering a bit in our time.

According to the Pew Research Center, barely half of U.S. adults are married or choosing to get married. These kind of statistics really do affect communities in the long run because, as this and other studies show, married couples are generally more affluent, which means more business and more profit for the community. Also, marriage is beneficial to children, who grow up happier and healthier with two parents in the same household. Happy children create happy residents, who create good communities.

Marriage brings out a community

I dont know about you; but, when I first got married, I had no idea what I was doing. My husband and I were learning as we went, and we appreciated the friends and family members who were around to support us and give us advice on how to navigate a happy married life.

Dont be fooled into thinking you can face marriage alone. Embrace the love and support given to you in and outside of social media.

I understand there are those out there who might not have this kind of support for when they are starting this great phase of life. But I hope you, who fall in this boat, know there are people out there who do care. And if you share the good news of your upcoming wedding, you'll be surprised at the community of people who come out and support you.

So, dont be afraid to share the good news of your marriage on social media, and embrace all the likes and comments that come your way. It is only going to help you and your spouse in the end.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries