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'Once a cheater, always a cheater?', study probes the question
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A person who cheats in a long-term relationship if three times more likely to cheat in a subsequent relationship, compared to one who stayed true, according to research in "Archives of Human Sexuality." - photo by Lois M Collins
Someone who cheats on a long-term romantic partner before marriage is three times more likely to cheat in a later relationship than is one who stayed true, according to new research from the University of Denver.

The study, "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater? Serial Infidelity Across Subsequent Relationships," looked at infidelity in one relationship as a risk factor for infidelity in a subsequent relationship. It was recently published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior.

The researchers used a national sample of individuals who had been recruited for the study when they were between the ages 18 and 34. Unlike most studies on infidelity, the subjects were all initially unmarried, but in serious romantic relationships. The research followed them through two romantic relationships.

What happens in nonmarital relationships is important, they wrote, "given that most people in the U.S. have multiple dating relationships before entering into a marriage or long-term commitment with a partner and research suggests that individuals' earlier romantic experiences may have consequences that can persist into later relationships or marriage."

The study didn't just examine the habits of a serial cheater. Researchers also found that those who had been cheated on were twice as likely to report the same cheating behavior from their next partner. And those who suspected their previous-relationship partner of cheating on them were four times more likely to say they were suspicious of subsequent partners than those who did not believe they'd been cheated on.

As for infidelity, "it's not like it's certain to happen, but the odds are much greater," said Scott Stanley, a research professor in the University of Denver's psychology department and one of the study authors.

The study

Of those who cheated in the first relationship, 45 percent went on to cheat in the second relationship, compared to 18 percent that didn't cheat in the first relationship, but did so in the second.

Neither gender nor marital status changed the link between infidelity in the first relationship and in the second.

In background information, the authors noted previous research that shows the "vast majority" of romantic relationships expect monogamy, married or not. While infidelity is widespread (an estimated 1 in 5 for married couples and as many as 7 in 10 for unmarried couples), they wrote that infidelity is "usually damaging" for both parties and hard on relationships. It's one of the most often-cited causes of divorce.

They also noted risk factors for infidelity, including low levels of commitment to the relationship, declining satisfaction in the relationship, permissive attitudes about cheating, changing social norms, as well as personality traits of those who cheat.

In the University of Denver study, first relationships lasted an average of 38.8 months before they ended, while second relationships had endured an average of 29.6 months by study's end. Sixty-five percent of participants said they lived with their first-relationship partner at some point (married or not), while 19 percent reported that living arrangement with their second relationship.

Still a taboo

Studies have shown that American care somewhat less about cohabiting than they did in the past. Attitudes have changed some on nonmarital births, as well. But infidelity's fan base has not grown significantly.

"An overwhelming majority of people have the expectation of fidelity of sexual and, often, emotional connection in monogamous relationships," Stanley wrote on an Institute for Family Studies blog about the new findings. "This is especially obvious in marriage, but it's also true in serious, unmarried relationships. Sure, there have always been those who seek 'open' relationships where partners agree that it is OK to have sex outside the relationship under some conditions, but that is not very common."

He notes that commitment levels are higher for married relationships than for others. But the majority in a relationship expect their partner to be faithful.

For example, a 2014 Gallup poll placed cheating on a spouse "dead last" in acceptable behaviors behind abortion, cohabitation, nonmarital births, divorce and pornography, among others. Just 6 percent said adultery is "acceptable."

In 2016, experts said that about one-third of couples who try to patch things up following infidelity succeed in doing so over the long term.

University of Utah sociologist Nicholas Wolfinger recently documented what he calls a "generation gap" since 2000 when it comes to infidelity: "Older Americans cheat more than in the past. Younger Americans cheat less," according to his findings.

The Deseret News in April published results of a poll it commissioned that asks what counts as cheating. One in four adults did not include a one-night stand on the list.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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