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Nine back-to-school tips to help parents bridge the chasm between home and classroom
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From emailing the teacher to volunteering in the classroom, experts at National Louis University offer ideas to help your child make a smooth transition. - photo by Eric Schulzke
Whether its coming back after a long summer or starting kindergarten or preschool, children are often full of school-driven angst at the end of August.

To help out, the education faculty at National Louis University, a nonprofit founded in 1886 with seven locations in Illinois, Florida and Wisconsin, put together nine suggestions for parents to minimize stress in the first weeks of school and the months that follow.

1. Email the teacher

Call, text or email the teacher at the start of the school year, says Seema Imam, associate professor of elementary and middle level teacher education. "I always teach my teachers about keeping their door open," Imam says, "But I don't think parents realize that they could knock."

Reaching out to introduce yourself establishes a relationship, puts your child more firmly on the teacher's radar, and lets them know you care and how to best reach you. Letting the teacher know you are approachable is reassuring, Imam says.

2. Plan the night before

Its easy for school mornings to get crazy. Dont let your child be the one whos late to school because he couldnt find his shoes. Instead, minimize chaos by having a place for each child to put his or her things, including the backpack.

Get kids to sleep early enough so they have time in the morning to eat breakfast without rushing. Younger children need 9 to 11 hours of sleep due to the increasing demands on their time from school, sports and extracurricular activities, says Ayn Keneman, associate professor of education at NLU. It takes energy to remember what you learned.

3. Tackle not wanting to go

Getting to the heart of the child's reluctance to go to school is key in hard cases, says Leslie Katch, assistant professor of education at NLU. Find out what the child is worried about, whether it be bullies, sitting alone at lunch, the academic work, or just not wanting summer to end.

Asking questions can reveal important intel into the feelings and emotions around going back to school, she says. If you can pinpoint an issue, talking through the problem and acknowledging your child's concerns can help provide the confidence needed to enter the first day of school.

4. Role play with younger children

Role playing is especially key for young children, Katch says. Helping kids anticipate routines will help everything seem less scary. Start with the first day of school. "You will have your backpack, we will put it in your cubby, and then mommy will kiss you goodbye." Katch also suggests useful reassuring mantras: "Mommy always comes back after we eat lunch."

5. Take turns reading

Routinely reading together makes literacy work at school feel less foreign, Imam says. Pick out a book and read a paragraph, then let your child read a paragraph, and take turns.

Kids seeing parents reading and responding to books brought from school helps establish their importance, Imam says. Your child also gets the practice of encountering unfamiliar words and learning them, plus the bonus of doing something with you.

6. Reduce anxiety

Anxiety is normal for a child starting school, says Jennifer Cooper, assistant professor in NLUs School Psychology program. Dialogue, coping techniques and realistic goals can all help.

Parents and other caregivers can teach their children simple strategies to help with anxiety, such as organizing materials and time, developing short scripts of what to do and say when anxiety increases, and learning coping strategies to relax under stressful conditions, Cooper says.

She also recommends parents and caregivers look for warning signs, including excessive worrying, health problems, irritability, difficulty concentrating, change in sleeping patterns and get qualified professional help if the problem persists or deepens.

7. Volunteer at your childs school

Volunteering is a great way to bridge school and home, Imam says, helping your child sense your connection to his or her school. Having mom and dad be a part of the classroom reduces the strangeness of the new experience, Imam says.

Even if parents work during the day, Imam says, there are valuable contributions they can make, such as preparing materials for bulletin boards or helping with evening or weekend events. Email your teacher to find out what you can do to help.

8. Reconnect with friends

With summer activities and travel, children can lose touch with the friends that they made during the school year. Seeing a friend can make children more comfortable, so schedule a playdate with a few friends before school starts. Going back to school is stressful for children of all ages, so reconnecting with friends is a great way to help reduce a childs anxiety for the upcoming school year, says Keneman.

9. Talk with your children daily

With both children and parents much busier than previous generations, Imam says it is critical to have structured time when the child can recount their day with the parent. These conversations develop communication skills, strengthen parent-child relationships, and help the parent spot problems as they emerge.

Here are conversation starters Imam suggests: "Tell me about the best and/or worst part of your day." "Did any of your classmates do anything funny?" "Tell me about what you read in class." "What's the biggest difference between this year and last year?" "What rules are different at school than our rules at home? Do you think they're fair?"
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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