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Nearly half of parents both work, and most find work-life balance difficult, survey shows
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Both parents work full-time in nearly half of U.S. families, giving those households income advantages. But a new Pew Research Center survey finds work-life balance is often tricky, from shared workload to getting ahead. - photo by Lois M Collins
Both parents work in nearly half of American families, providing those families with more financial resources. But a new Pew Research Center survey finds those working parents may struggle to balance their careers and their home lives and there are real differences between men and women in how they see the division of household labor.

"Where both work full-time, there is a lot of sharing going on, even though with some activities especially scheduling children's activities mom is still doing more. But there's a lot of task sharing going on in these families," said Juliana Menasce Horowitz, associate director of the Pew Research Center and one of the report's co-authors.

In 46 percent of U.S. families, both parents are fully employed, up from 31 percent back in 1970. But the phone survey with a parent from each of 1,807 households with children under 18 found 56 percent call juggling careers and home life "difficult."

Moms working full time were more likely to say it is hard to balance family and work responsibilities. They were also more apt to say they always feel rushed. And women who work, whether full or part time, say it is harder to move ahead in their careers, Horowitz said.

Twice as many women as men said parenthood makes it hard to get ahead in a career, 40 percent versus 20 percent.

The survey also highlighted different perceptions between the genders when it comes to who is doing what around the house. Regardless of whether moms work full time or part time, they were more likely to say that they do more household-related work than their partners, while dads were more likely to say they share tasks evenly.

"The truth is probably somewhere in the middle," Horowitz said.

"But even in households where both parents work full time, many say a large share of the day-to-day parenting responsibilities falls to mothers," the report said. It noted that 54 percent said the mother more often manages schedules and activities. Parents divide tasks more equitably when it comes to household chores and responsibilities (59 percent), disciplining (61 percent) and activities with the children (64 percent).

Other studies have found diverse benefits to how parents cooperate on tasks, according to Stephanie Coontz, professor of history and family studies at Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, and director of research and public education for the Council on Contemporary Families. She was not involved in the Pew survey.

"For the majority of contemporary American couples, sharing housework and childcare, unlike in the past, is associated with higher marital quality, higher sexual satisfaction, and even more frequent sex," she said. "So it's good for their relationship. It's also good for each of them as individuals, as well as for their children."

In the work realm

The Pew survey marks the first time the researchers have asked those in two-parent households, whether married or cohabitating, whether mom or dad is more focused on career. Horowitz said that men and women both said they were equally focused, although 50 percent who said that also noted that the father earns more than the mother. When both parents work full time, the woman is the top earner 22 percent of the time. Twenty-six percent said the two parents earn about the same amount.

Fifty-nine percent said being a parent does not necessarily interfere with getting ahead at work. Another 30 percent said parenthood has made career advancement tougher, while 10 percent credit parenthood with helping career advancement.

The researchers note that "mothers are twice as likely as fathers to say being a working parent has made it harder for them to advance in their job and career," 41 percent to about 20 percent. That finding was true for moms who work part time, as well as those who work full time.

What happens at home impacts work and vice versa, said Coontz. "When men are involved at home, women feel less pressure to back away from work they enjoy," she said. "And men gain the confidence and pleasures of learning to be hands-on parents, instead of being seen as less-involved backups. Such men report themselves happier over time than men who rely solely on their role as breadwinners for meaning. So sharing at home helps end women's second-class status at work and men's second-class status at home."

Many recent studies have focused on the importance of dad's involvement at home to improving kids' lives. Last year, for example, a study by psychologists from the University of British Columbia published in Psychological Science found that how parents divide tasks like doing dishes and laundry affects their children's perceptions of gender and also what aspirations their children have a finding that especially was true for daughters.

Different perspectives

The Pew researchers found a "significant education gap" when it comes to balancing work and family. College-educated parents were more likely than those with less education to say it is difficult to balance the responsibility of employment and family life. That response came from 70 percent for women with degrees compared to 52 percent without and 61 percent of college-grad men verses 47 percent with less education.

"These differences hold even when controlling for the fact that college-educated parents are more likely to work full time," the report said.

The Pew survey didn't address why that difference existed, but Horowitz said there were several possibilities, including differences in the types of jobs that people with degrees are more likely to have compared to those without degrees.

Other factors could be work schedules or "something in the responsibility they have at work, the level of stress at work," she said. It's also possible that kids of college-educated parents might be involved in more activities because the family has more resources.

Pew asked whether being a parent is enjoyable, rewarding, tiring and/or stressful. Those who said it was hard to balance work and family were more likely to call parenting stressful and tiring, Horowitz said. They were less likely to describe parenting as enjoyable or rewarding.

"It affects the way they experience parenting," Horowitz noted.

Roughly 40 percent of mothers working full time said they don't spend enough time with their kids, while 58 percent said they do and 3 percent said they spend too much time. The vast majority of part-time and not-employed mothers said they spend the right amount of time with the kids, while 18 percent and 11 percent respectively said they spend too little time.

Half of full-time working dads and 41 percent of dads who either work part time or don't work said they spend too little time with their children.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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