By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Matchmakers are often happier than the couples they set up
15290c6b44d7af54ee457bcd73a6fc88b0d3f960ce4fe051e0f5a39d03905ce9
This woman from New York City is 3-5 so far in setting up couples. She's basically a real-life cupid. - photo by Herb Scribner
Hana P. Alberts is the real-life cupid.

Since she first helped a pair of friends get hitched in 2009, Alberts has devoted some of her time to setting up potential soul mates. And so far, shes 3-for-5 over the last six years, showing she has about the same success rate as that baby flying around in a diaper. Get this woman a quiver of arrows!

And, her process is simple.

My thought process spans the physical and emotional: I try to unearth details about what attracts them to other people and line up compatible personalities who fit the bill, she wrote for the New York Post. Were looking for both chemistry and common interests here!

Alberts first success came in 2009 when her friend from college expressed his interest in smart women, but was tired of New Yorks dating scene. So she gave him the number of a friend she knew who was witty and smart. They have since gotten married and even had a baby in 2014, she wrote.

Her next success came in 2010. Her friend asked to meet her for coffee, but Alberts' scheduled was booked. So she recommend her female friend to a 29-year-old male lawyer who could show her around the city. Those two were married in 2013.

The last time Alberts succeeded was in 2012 after her friend Michael Stewart couldnt find a girlfriend. She hooked him up with Kate Berry, and the two are due to be married in May.

Not every match I made worked. Two red-haired journalists didnt feel sparks, while the friend of a family friend wasnt ready for a commitment with my high school bestie. My batting average hovers around .666, she wrote for NY Post.

But Alberts admits shes not the only matchmaker out there trying to get single people together. And shes right. In fact, about 38 percent of American couples contacted in a Mic survey said they met through a friend they had in common a matchmaker.

This is mainly because friends often trust their others friends judgements about potential partners. And, as Mic reported, friends in the same social circle often have similar interests, which makes it easier to keep the relationship going long-term.

Research backs this idea. A 2014 study from Cornell University and the University of Indianapolis found that partners who met through friends, families or communities felt they had a bigger support network in their relationships, which allowed them to tackle relationship issues a lot easier in the long run. That is to say, they received positive reenforcement when times got tough.

But matchmaking doesnt just make couples happier, it also helps the matchmaker find happiness. Research published in Society for Personality and Social Psychology found that matchmakers find satisfaction when they set couples up.

If you follow your instinct to play Cupid this Valentine's Day, it'll pay off in happiness not necessarily for the new couple, but definitely for you, Science Daily said about the study.

The researchers used four studies to arrive at that conclusion, including one that looked at surveys, another at computer games and two others that involved in-lab social interaction to show when and why matchmakers are often happier.

Among several findings including one that showed people felt less happy about a potential relationship when they were paid to go on a date with someone the study found that matchmakers especially find happiness when they arrange a date for two people who could not be more different. They feel a thrill from having such a rare success, the study said.

"There are many reasons why people make matches," Lalin Anik, a post doctoral fellow at Duke University, said to Science Daily. "Matchmakers may be proud that they have the social acumen to recognize a social link that others hadn't. People enjoy being the key person who made that critical match between newlyweds or between business partners who started a successful venture.

But for prospective matchmakers out there be careful with how often you try to match your friends. Providing the wrong match could cause a disturbance in both your friendship with someone and their potential lover.

The researchers suggest making matches you know can work, unlike lead character Michael Scott from The Office.

"In a Valentine's Day episode, Michael Scott introduces Eric (who is interested in tool and die repair) to Meredith (who had a hysterectomy) emphasizing the 'repair' aspect as a common ground. Not surprisingly, the introduction is brutally awkward," Anik said. "Matches should be made with the goal of creating meaningful connections."
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries