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Luke Skywalker has something to learn from parents
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This 1980 publicity image shows Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker and the character Yoda in this scene from "Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back." - photo by Peter Thunell
Much like every other sentient mammal on Earth, I recently went to see the new Star Wars movie. It was fun, like seeing a great cover band in action, like Mink Floyd (they dress up fancy and play Money) or Flabba (plus-sized men in spandex bell bottomed body suits singing Dancing Cream, Gimme Gimme Gimme a ham after midnight, Honey Honey Honey Knowing Me Knowing Twinkie Goo, I could do this all day folks).

The movie was fun, but there was one thing that just drove me nuts. Before I get to that, let me shoot off on a short tangent here. Itll tie back around. I promise.

I saw the movie with my brother Adam and his family. Spoken like the third child that I am, let me confirm that its infuriating being his brother. For as long as I can remember, hes always been kind, considerate, talented, upbeat, handsome just an all-around great guy.

Im much more the Esau in this fraternal bond, from the deep love of creamy soup to the exclusion of almost everything else, right down to the excess body hair. (I mean, come on universe, give a guy a break.)

Adam has seven kids, all great, but much like anything in sevens (slices of pizza for dinner, presidential candidates), its a lot. His youngest son, Benny, has Angelman syndrome, which is described by the Mayo Clinic as "a genetic disorder that causes developmental disabilities and neurological problems, such as difficulty speaking, balancing and walking, and, in some cases, seizures." The website also notes that "frequent smiles and outbursts of laughter are common for people with Angelman syndrome, and many have happy, excitable personalities.

Im amazed by all people like my brother and sister-in-law who are parents of special-needs children. Its a 24/7/365 job. It reminds me of way back when I was a paperboy. As a paperboy, you quickly learn the papers got to be delivered no matter what. Christmas? Great, go deliver the papers. Feeling sick? Thats too bad, go deliver the papers.

With a special-needs child, theres no days off of tending to his basic necessary needs. And this is added on to everything else in life work, church, family, etc. And heres the thing: They never complain. If the thought of having to take care of this little guy for decades to come is daunting, they sure dont show it.

That's what made watching "The Force Awakens" so maddening. While the galaxy hangs in the balance and the bad guys are blowing up entire solar systems willy nilly, Luke looks like he's playing Anne of Green Gables, gazing thoughtfully off of craggy cliffs waiting for Gilbert to come sweep him off his feet.

You know who could have used a hand, Luke (real or mechanical either one)? The billions of people from the blown-up planets.

Sadly, Luke confirms what seems to be the defining Jedi trait: When the going gets tough, the tough disappear to remote locations and become the resident weirdo. Yoda, Obi-Wan and Luke each voluntarily disappeared respectively to a swamp planet, a desert planet and an island even Tom Hanks and Wilson would have called sparse. From what we can gather, all they did during their decades-long sojourns was avoid everyone. Never mind that during every one of their extended vacations evil organizations grew from little evil start-ups into huge evil corporations.

Obi-Wan did Luke no favors in his training. This whole "strike me down and I'll become more powerful" business is a crock. From everything we saw, after Obi-Wan is struck down, he shows up once a year as a blue ghost to give advice that, frankly, he could have just easily passed along as a non-ghost.

It all feels like Obi-Wan was using the classic absent parent cop-out: "The kids only see me twice a year, but it makes our time together more special that way." Right, that's what everyone needs from a mentor, less help and day-to-day guidance.

I'm all for learning how to do cool running front flips with a muppet strapped to your back, but Luke would have been better served shadowing my sister-in-law Alexis for a couple weeks.

Try spending all day running around taking care of a huge family while trying to work with a special-needs child who keeps you up half the night. And then when Luke wakes up bleary-eyed the next morning, guess what? He has to do it again. And again the next day. And the next. Maybe after a few weeks he'd realize that even though things get tough, you just keep at it.

This is a lesson the Jedi need to pick up and soon because I really don't want to watch "Star Wars Episode 10: A Rey of Hope" in 20 years and see that Rey has disappeared to live underwater on the outskirts of Gungan society with her only contact to the outside world being Kar Kar Binks (Jar Jar's grandson). All the while the new Evil 3.0 has created a really, really big death laser that can now blow up entire galaxies and everyone is wondering where the heck Rey's been the last 20 years.

Break the cycle, Rey. Just assume one of your apprentices will probably flirt with the dark side, that youre going to take down the evil and a new evil will pop right up (didnt I just clean this mess up?), that life isnt all medal ceremonies and parties with Ewoks.

If you get discouraged and want to pull a Jedi, just remember theres millions of parents out there where, surely on some days, exile to a swamp planet sounds like a soothing vacation. But they stick it out and do it all again the next day and the next and the next.

Thats a true heros journey.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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