By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
Living with less, and loving it
01558f3d8d888295f64ecf480a4e7edbb24332a125a29c8907c365972a03397d
Living out of a suitcase for three months has taught me just how few possessions I need to enjoy life. - photo by Erin Stewart
We have been living out of a suitcase for three months while waiting on the construction of our new house. Fortunately, our extremely generous friends took us in and we have been living in their basement.

We packed for only two weeks with July weather in mind because that is how long we were supposed to be homeless. Now three months later, I have learned several important things, including:

My kids have no idea how to use toothpaste or a toilet. Since we have been sharing a small bathroom between two adults and two children, I have realized that somewhere along the way of raising my two daughters, I overlooked two key life lessons: the lid goes back on the toothpaste when you are done with it and you flush the toilet before leaving the bathroom. Yes, every time!

Space can be a good thing. When you are living on top of each other in a small area, you realize just how close you are as a family. You also realize that a little bit of personal space never killed anyone. Not that I dont love waking up with my daughters toe up my nose every morning or anything because I relish that only slightly more than the exquisite feel of a Lego piece jammed into my feet on my way to bed every night.

But most importantly, I have realized how little we actually need to be happy and live comfortable, content lives. We each had a suitcase when we arrived, and weve bought a few more odds and ends over the months, but we have far fewer clothes, shoes and things than we do normally.

And honestly, I love it.

I love the simplicity of only having a few clothes to pick from, and not caring that everyone at school or church has seen me wear the same dress five times. In a way, I feel liberated from the stuff that often sucks away my time and energy. I dont have tons of laundry to put away because there arent tons of clothes. I dont have to nag my kids about picking up toys because there are just a few to leave out. I dont spend time at stores because I have nowhere to put things anyway.

I get in my mind sometimes that I need certain things to be happy or that my children need the right toys or the right clothes to have a good childhood. But if living tight quarters has taught me anything, its that we are the same family with the same love for each other no matter where we are or how much stuff we have. We dont need a thousand pairs of shoes or a million toys to be happy. In fact, all that stuff usually just gets in the way.

I teach my children all the time the difference between a want and a need. I say, We just dont need that today when they come up to me at the grocery store with the latest "Frozen"-licensed item with that look in their eye that says, This is it! The thing I have been missing my whole life. Oh, if I could just have this one thing, I could be truly happy forever.

I am a pro at saying no to these kind of heart-wrenching requests. We dont need it. Its not in the budget this month. You have toys you dont even play with at home. We dont need to buy a toy every time we come in for milk. And so on.

But Im not sure Ive done such a good job myself drawing the line between how much we actually need and all the things we just want.

And if these past few months have taught me anything, its that purging my life of stuff is not about denying myself, its about allowing myself to live free from the burden of things. Because really, when you get right down to it, thats all things are. They burden my time. They burden my bank account. They burden my family as we turn our attention from each other and toward objects.

Now, Im not about to relinquish all my earthly possessions and go join a commune or anything, but I am taking a look at my life to determine where I have built up my treasure in this life.

And when we do finally move into our new home, I will ask myself tough questions ranging from whether I really need five pairs of black shoes or if we really need a swingset when there is a park three houses away. I will force myself to ask a few questions:

Do I need this or can I get by without it?

Will this possession bring me joy or short-term happiness (or neither)?

Will this object free up my time or consume it?

Will it enrich my relationships with people?

If I dont like the answers, I can say no. I control what comes into my home and my life.

I hope by looking at each object I bring into my home, we end up with less. Less energy spent on cleaning. Less time spent shopping, returning and purchasing. Less interaction with things.

And in the process, well find more. More time together. More joy. More room in our drawers and in our lives for the moments and people that matter.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries