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Leaving a light on for you at the World Hopecast
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In this special edition of LIFEadvice, Coach Kim shares tips and tricks for creating more hope in your life and information about the World Hopecast March 17-19. - photo by Kim Giles
Tom Bodett, author and the radio host famous for his Motel 6 commercials, said, A person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.

But for many these days, hope is hard to come by.

According to the World Health Organization, suicide is now the third highest cause of death globally. Suicide rates have risen over 60 percent in the last 45 years and WHO estimates that by 2020, someone will die by suicide every 20 seconds on this planet.

Right now in the U.S, there is one death by suicide every 12.3 minutes, and there are 25 attempts for every death. We also lose 22 veterans a day to suicide, and it is the second leading cause of death for young people 15-24.

The bottom line is a lot of people are losing hope.

Hope is a belief that something better is possible, that your life can and will improve. But some scientists say hope is more than just an emotion. Its a state that one can choose, achieve or make happen if one knows how.

In 1991, a positive psychologist named Charles Snyder and his colleagues came up with a hope theory that says hope consists of two components: agency and pathways. What they meant was, to create hope you must have some will, determination and belief that things can get better, and you must be able to see a path or vehicle to get you there. If you have both of these, you will have motivation driving hope.

(Snyder and his colleagues also invented a worksheet to measure the amount of hope you have. Its called the Trait Hope Scale and you can access it here if youd like to try it.)

Because of Snyders research, we know you can create more hope in your life if you work on these two things:

1 Choosing a different (more positive) perspective or mindset.

2 Developing strategies and a plan to actually improve your life.

Here are some suggestions to help you change your mindset:

  1. Look for other perspective options. Everything you feel and experience is filtered through your subconscious perspective. This means the way you feel could easily change, if you changed your perspective or the way you are looking at the situation. What are some other options? Start brainstorming and see if you can come up with some other (more positive) perspectives. Write down all the options you can think of. The following steps may help you come up with some.

  2. Choose to see life as a classroom. Snyder and his colleagues found that people who had hope usually saw life in a learning mode, which means they saw life as a classroom where mistakes arent permanent and don't affect your value. This attitude encouraged people to keep trying and not give up. People without hope tended to see life as a test and believed any mistake was permanent and meant they werent good enough. This attitude caused more people to give up. People who saw life as a test also felt like a helpless victim of circumstance, while those who saw life as a classroom felt they had control and could change their situations. If you choose to see life as a classroom (where you cannot fail because there is no test) you will also see negative situations, challenges and trials as opportunities to grow, learn and become better. This means you will see purpose and meaning in every experience and believe these experiences are here to educate and serve you, which will change how you feel about them.

  3. Understand everything changes. The nature of life is that nothing is permanent. All situations shift, change and evolve. When you experience great suffering it is easy to give up hope, but remember nothing stays the same forever. If you hang on through this rough patch, its highly likely better days will come.

  4. Make note of and celebrate small wins and blessings. Make sure you take stock daily of everything you have to be grateful for. In the midst of every heartache there are always tender mercies. Choose to focus on those. Much of your attitude comes from your focus. Choose to focus on the wins and blessings.

  5. Think about the ways things could be worse. Even find people whose situations are worse than yours or who are suffering in different ways and look for opportunities to serve them. Lose yourself service and your perspective will be more positive.

  6. Surround yourself with positive, determined, optimistic people. Rub shoulders with these people daily and let them share their perspectives on life with you. Ask them how they get through the hard parts and follow their lead.

  7. Spend more time outdoors. Nature has a magical way of lifting our spirits and reminding us there is beauty in the world.

Here are some suggestions for creating a plan to improve your situation:

  1. Find other people who have survived your situation and interview them. Ask what they did and how they made it through. Start a list of everything they suggest.

  2. Allow inspiration in and embrace spirituality in whatever form comforts you. Read inspiring books, watch inspirational movies and listen to great music. Soak up stories of survival and courage.

  3. Make a plan to improve your situation. Figure out what the next step looks like and start down that path. Every week re-evaluate and assess how its going and if any changes are necessary. Stay committed and determined to keep going.

  4. Celebrate every small win. Make sure you revel in every good thing or bit of progress. We tend to have a negativity bias, which means we focus more on whats wrong than on whats right. Change that. Focus on the good things and mark progress, not perfection.

The American author Barbara Kingsolver said, The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.

I also recommend you join us online (wherever you are) for the World Hopecast, taking place this week (March 17-19).

We are bringing together a group of local speakers, celebrities and psychologists for a live stream audio broadcast (all about hope and inspiration) for 60 hours straight with guest authors, activists, experts and thought leaders from around the world sharing messages of hope and positivity.

We have guests lined up who will teach you exactly how to shift your mindset, inspire you with their stories of survival and motivate you to make a bigger difference in the world.

We will be talking about suicide prevention, forgiveness, philanthropy, overcoming depression or illness, positivity and courage and we are also going to break a Guinness World Record in the process.

If you feel beaten up, burned out or overburdened please listen to the Hopecast live at www.worldhopecast.com.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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