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Is there a movement to depolarize America?
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As people sort themselves into tribes based on everything from neighborhoods to news outlets, a small group of activists and academics is taking note and searching for ways to stem the partisan tide. - photo by Allison Pond
A video clip of Ronald Reagan and George H.W. Bush answering questions about immigration at a 1980 debate is making the social media rounds, drawing attention not just for what would be considered moderate positions on immigration today, but for the generous and respectful tone of the candidates to one another.

Fast-forward 26 years to the March 4, 2016, Republican primary debate, a round-robin of insults in which candidates Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz engaged in increasingly hostile personal attacks on front-runner Donald Trump. Trump in turn referred derisively to them as little Marco and lying Ted and tossed in an allusion to his own private parts.

Many observers, including 2012 Republican nominee Mitt Romney, blame Trumps penchant for profanity and name-calling for the tenor of this years campaign. But in spite of efforts to call him out for immature behavior, Trump s divisive rhetoric is resonating with a set of Americans who continue to propel him to primary victories in state after state.

Trump may be riding a wave of polarization and antipathy, but he didnt create it. Experts say the last 50 years have given rise to several trends including the end of the Cold War, rule changes in Congress, the proliferation of partisan media outlets, immigration patterns and urban-rural divides that are converging in a perfect storm of hyper-partisanship and tribalism.

Americans are more divided along ideological lines than at any point in the past two decades, the Pew Research Center reported in 2014, and partisan hostility runs deeper than ever.

As people sort themselves into tribes based on everything from neighborhoods to news outlets, a small group of activists and academics is taking note and searching for ways to stem the partisan tide. Theyre organizing events, writing books and recruiting people to engage in face-to-face dialogue with others of radically differing viewpoints.

Some believe there could be a movement toward depolarization; others arent sure. But all agree that the skills of compromise and statesmanship will be essential to the future functioning of American government, and they want as many people as possible to gain them.

There is no enduring way for citizens to advance their own values without working with others, said Mark Gerzon, 66, an author and leadership expert who designed bipartisan retreats for members of Congress in the 1990s.

Anyone who is married knows it can be hard. If we want to be a democracy, not a dictatorship, we have to work with people different from ourselves."

The path to polarization

Sarah Jordan is an adult ESL teacher in the Glendale neighborhood of west Salt Lake City with a self-described passion for social justice. Immigration is a live issue for her students, many of whom come from mixed-status families, and shes distressed by Trumps polarizing rhetoric about immigrants, she says.

Its a cold night in February, and Jordan, 53, is sitting next to Derek Monson, director of public policy at the conservative Sutherland Institute think tank, at a table in the local community center. They both came to talk about immigration at an event sponsored by The Village Square, an organization that aims to facilitate conversations between people who disagree, sometimes intensely.

They take turns talking about what they believe is at the heart of the immigration debate, and Jordan leans back stiffly in her chair, avoiding eye contact with Monson.

Its increasingly rare to find people like Monson and Jordan conversing at all on political topics, in part because they so rarely cross paths anymore. Americans are increasingly self-segregating into neighborhoods based on their political ideology, documented in journalist Bill Bishops book The Big Sort: Why the Clustering of Like-Minded America is Tearing Us Apart.

One in four Americans have unfriended someone on Facebook for having different politics, according to the Pew Research Center, and another recent Pew study found that more Americans would be upset about their child marrying someone of another political party than if they married another race.

This isnt the first time Americans have been intensely polarized, said David Blankenhorn, founder of the Institute for American Values, a New York-based think tank. The years leading up to the Civil War were particularly polarizing, as were the 1890s, when there were fights over farmers debt, and the 1960s, when people were polarized over Vietnam.

The difference between then and now is that in most other periods, polarization tended to be around one or two issues. Now almost all of the issues are polarized, he said.

The other difference now, he said, is that people have so little connection to those they disagree with.

You sign up to be on one team or the other, and each team has its own positions on every single issue, he said. So if somebody says to you, Todays Thursday, and that persons from the other party, youre going to say, Well, well see about that.

Polarization leads to harmful intellectual habits such as black-and-white thinking, Blankenhorn said. It encourages people to view uncertainty as weakness, to assume opponents are motivated by bad faith, and to hesitate to agree on basic facts which in turn fosters more polarization.

A new movement?

Trumps comments are driving interest in events like the Village Square one in Salt Lake that bring together people on different sides of political issues, said Jacob Hess, director of the Salt Lake chapter of The Village Square.

The group was founded in Tallahassee a decade ago, and is expanding into Utah and California. Hess hopes efforts like The Village Square are having a moment, but said hes under no illusions its about to take the country by storm.

Other groups are also popping up. One of them is Blankenhorns new project, Better Angels, born of his own bitter experience in the public eye first as an opponent of gay marriage he testified in the Proposition 8 case in California in 2010 and later as a supporter.

Having been clobbered by people on both sides of that rancorous issue, Blankenhorn said he realized that polarization wasnt simply a phenomenon that occurred on particular issues, but an issue of its own that needed to be addressed head-on.

Better Angels has a three-year plan that includes sponsoring research on depolarization indicators such as feelings and opinions Americans have about members of opposing political parties and hopes to enlist a significant fraction of the population to be trained in political dialogue and planted in local communities.

Like Hesse, Blankenhorn was hesitant to say hes part of a groundswell movement to depolarize the country.

Gerzon, however, believes a movement could be forming, and he uses the word transpartisan to describe it. His new book released last month, The Reunited States of America: How We Can Bridge the Partisan Divide, highlights the efforts of those working to help the country be less polarized.

Gerzon said polls provide clues to the potential size of the movement by tracking the high number of people who identify as independents. Recent Pew Research Center data show independents make up 40 percent of Americans, an all-time high that makes the number of independents larger than either Republicans or Democrats.

Its not that they dont have liberal or conservative leanings, its just that they dont think its constructive to add weight to the right or the left, Gerzon said.

Gerzon also noted that the movement isnt new and that people have been trying to bridge the partisan gap for decades.

The National Coalition for Dialogue and Deliberation was founded in 2002 as a network of people interested in fostering understanding between different groups in a variety of fields. It serves as a clearinghouse for information and is one of the leading organizations in the dialogue movement.

NCDD built on the success of the Public Conversations Project, started 27 years ago by Laura Chasin, a marriage and family therapist who realized that the same skills she was teaching families in therapy could help Americans debating political issues.

Changing hearts, not minds

Some people like polarization because it gives them a sense of security and superiority, Hess said.

If (polarization) wasnt a winning political strategy, if it didnt appeal to deep human needs and feelings, we wouldnt have it, Blankenhorn said.

So far, liberals seem more interested than conservatives in depolarization groups and events, Hess said. It may be that the whole concept of dialogue sounds too progressive, he said, and he is working on ideas to engage the citys religious community more deeply.

Gerzon said his biggest skeptics are his friends on the far left and the far right who believe in conspiracy theories and accuse him of singing Kumbaya in a war zone.

There may be some truth in that, he said, but having worked as a U.N. mediator in countries including Nepal and Kenya, he has learned that when the middle disappears when you talk yourself out of there being a middle you have violence.

Hess is adamant that changing minds isnt the goal of dialogue its to recognize the humanity and the reasonableness of people on the other side.

Hess, a lifelong religious conservative, teamed up with Phil Neisser, an atheist, Marxist professor at State University of New York, to write a 2012 book called Youre Not as Crazy as I Thought But Youre Still Wrong in which the authors converse on topics from big government to race and sexuality.

Hess and Neisser still strongly disagree politically, but writing the book was transformative, Hess said, and they became dear friends.

(Talking about differences) changes you, Hess said.

Hess also tells about a conversation activity between three conservative Mormons and three members of the LGBT community. No one was converted to the others way of thinking, he said, but afterwards they were hugging and exchanging phone numbers.

Its more of a change of heart than a change of mind, he said. Its like in a marriage. The turning point is often to accept that person is who they are and not try to change them, not force them or fix them."

Gerzon encourages people to take a 30-day transpartisan vacation in which they put aside their regular reading and activities and substitute things from the other side.

Whatever youre used to doing, take a vacation and read something different. Hang out with different people. Spend time at an event. If you always read the Times, read the Wall Street Journal, he said. See if you can come back with something of value.

Other resources help people create their own dialogues. For example, NYU professor Jonathan Haidt founded the Asteroids Club, in which members of different political persuasions each identify what they believe is the No. 1 most dangerous problem, or asteroid, hurtling toward the country, and then commit to help each other deflect their asteroids.

Living Room Conversations and Jeffersonian dinners supply templates for inviting a group into your home to talk about typically polarizing issues.

Finding air

As the Salt Lake Village Square event wraps up, ESL teacher Jordan admits she was uncomfortable when she learned she was sharing a table with someone from the Sutherland Institute. But she was surprised to agree with Monson on several points.

When he started talking about following the Constitution, I inwardly groaned. But then when he talked about the heart of the matter being about the individual person, I agreed, she says. And I love that.

I seek in my life to challenge my own beliefs. But I also am aware that sometimes I can hold my beliefs very tightly, and I love those moments when I find air, Jordan says as Lee Greenwoods Proud to be an American plays in the background.

Monson interrupts to say farewell as he heads for the door, and their exchange reflects an openness that wasnt there before.

It was great to chat with you, he says.

It was wonderful and I like your tie, Jordan replies.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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