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How you and your spouse can conquer conflicts over friends
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It's not unlikely for your spouse and your friends to have some disagreements. Here's what you can do to make sure those conflicts don't ruin your marriage. - photo by Herb Scribner
In a marriage, it can be hard to manage your romantic relationship and your friendships. In fact, sometimes your partner may not get along with your friends, which, if long-lasting, can bring stress, anxiety and concern to a marriage, according to The Wall Street Journals Elizabeth Bernstein.

It is one thing to dislike your romantic partners family We dont choose our relatives so ultimately they shouldnt reflect on us, Bernstein reported. But what do you do if you cant stand your beloveds friends, the people he or she has handpicked to hang around?

These kind of issues between spouses most often begin when one partner behaves differently around friends, Bernstein reported. Sometimes partners also get upset because their spouse's friends hold different values than they do, or have a heavy amount of influence over them.

Its like sharing a part of a persons world when you are introduced to his or her friends. Youre seeing their past and their present, Irene S. Levine, a psychologist and professor of psychiatry at NYU School of Medicine, told The Wall Street Journal. If you see a red flag, it can be a big turnoff.

Couples also find conflict with their spouses friends because of jealousy, according to research published in Social Psychological and Personality Science in 2014.

Researchers found through two studies that one partner often felt jealous of their partners friends. They were worried their spouse had a stronger relationship with their friends than with them. Those spouses were then jealous of that platonic bond.

Thats why the studys lead researcher, Sarah Gomillion, said couples need to feel secure about their relationship so they dont feel that jealous, WSJ reported. Couples should also aim to find the good qualities in their partner's friends to show dedication to the relationship.

Be aware that it is important to have good relationships with people who are important to your partner, Gomillion told WSJ. You will feel a greater connection to your partner. And the friends can be supportive.

Conflict between a spouse and their partners friends can strengthen a relationship if the issue is resolved, according to a Focus on the Family relationship expert, Bill Maier. Couples can learn to compromise and become more flexible with eachother, he said. Compromise has been known to make people happier and strengthen their emotional bonds.

One of the challenges that newlyweds often face is how to resolve differences like this one, Maier wrote. In order for a marriage relationship to be successful, each individual needs to be willing to put their spouse's desires ahead of their own at times.

Its also important for spouses whose friends are in conflict with their partner to mediate both sides so that ones friends and ones spouse work out their issues together, Maureen Salamon wrote for CNN.

If the conflict is a low-level irritation (she's too loud; he doesn't like to hang out with crowds) but isn't on the level of a betrayal or dramatic event, tell your friends and partner that while you love and respect them, both relationships are important to you and they'll have to learn to get along, she wrote.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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