By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
How to keep your kids safe without limiting their growth
f94951ccfa959d3843b13aab326156f7e6aabea69c7fba347a0d5b25adb0c5cf
Are you guilty of being a helicopter parent? Here are some ways to let go, while still feeling like your kids are safe. - photo by Megan Shauri
It seems like today there are so many dangers in the world. When I hear about kidnappings, creepy clowns, assaults and murders, it makes me want to keep my kids inside and never let them out. But I know that is just a little bit unrealistic. Allowing my children to experience life is part of my role as a parent.

So how do we, as parents, keep them safe while still letting them go out into the world? Here are some ideas.

Trust them

While we cant always trust the people they will encounter, we can trust our children. Teaching them stranger danger when they are young and continuing to preach about discernment as they grow can assure us that weve taught them about making good choices. Now it is up to them to use that information.

Look at their past behavior and decide how much of the reins you will let them take. If you feel they are still learning who is a stranger and who is a trusted friend, keep the reins a bit closer until they can handle themselves appropriately.

Keep a safe distance

You dont have to hover, but you dont have to leave altogether. Stay a safe distance away. Let them roam over the entire playground without standing right next to your child. Watch how they act with other kids and other adults without you standing by their side. That way, you will see what your kid needs to learn or what they already know when it comes to social interactions. Standing back also allows you to keep a look out for suspicious people or other dangers.

Get to know their friends

If they want to go over to a friends house from school that youve never met, take the time to get out of the car, meet their parents, see their house and judge if you will leave them there, or stay and chat with their parents while the kids play. It is okay to be cautious. If the parents of the friend think you are weird for checking them out, they probably have something to hide.

Put them in organized activities

A great way to get your kids out in the world without too many risks is by putting them in a controlled environment. Sports, clubs and summer camps are all wonderful ways to let your kids have a bit of freedom, but still remain safe. You can rest easy knowing they are having fun, meeting kids their age and expanding their independence. It gives your kids a chance to come home and tell you all about what they learned. If you are still worried about the activity, maybe observe from a distance for a while, but once you are assured it is safe, leave them be.

Have faith in humanity

While there is a lot of bad out in the world, there is also a lot of good. The last thing you want to do is give your fears to your children. If they grow up only knowing that people cant be trusted, they will never learn to trust others. Take them to activities where they can see how good people can be. Volunteer at a food bank, join an organization that helps the environment and always tell them stories about real people and the good they do in the world. Let your children grow up knowing that the world is mostly good.

Be a good person

Be an example to your kids. Show them that goodness starts from home. Be kind. Smile at strangers. Dont yell at other drivers. Take your kids with you when you do service for someone else. Congratulate others on their success and cheer them on. Be who you want your kids to grow into. Your example of what a good, honest person is the best way to teach them how to be that same way.

People who do not have children often ask me how I feel about bringing kids into the world today when there is so much bad. I often respond that while it is scary, and I do fear for them, I cant help but have hope that the future will be good. That we can grow past the negative and learn to love others in spite of their flaws. I hope my teachings will stick with them. I do everything I can to make sure they are in a safe environment, without limiting their growth, imagination and development. I know I can hold my children close for a few short years, but eventually I have to let go and watch them soar.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries