By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
How to avoid a mediocre marriage (including why a 10-second make-out session is so important)
2bfbac6bf8a0d2677a24a6c990454db526c419a0efc7cf0a922ca903a8d24051
Extraordinary, mind-boggling, knock-your-socks-off love is so, so, so, so possible! It just requires a commitment to be curious, explore, be kind, and be a little creative every day. - photo by Nate Bagley
Over the last 3 years, Ive interviewed hundreds of couples who are madly in love with each other.

The stories Ive collected would blow your mind but more important than the stories, are the lessons Ive learned from these couples about how to create the kind of extraordinary, passionate, lasting love that most of us yearn for.

Some of these tips can be found in my recent TEDx Talk (embedded at the top of the page) which you should watch before reading the rest of this article:

Say No to Awesome Things

Jay and Laura have criss-crossed the country with their family to pursue Jays career for over 20 years. When my friend Melissa and I arrived at their house to interview them, they were getting ready to move again but this time it wasnt for Jays career.

He had just turned down an incredible job offer with a really great salary because he knew that his family and his relationship with his wife were more important than work.

So, they sold their gorgeous house on the coast of Northern California, bought a camper trailer, and spent the last several years road tripping across the country and training for ultra-marathons as a couple.

One of the most important lessons I learned from Jay and Laura is that its ok to say no to truly incredible things if they dont align with whats most important to you.

The 1-10 Rule

Rich and Michelle met each other in Alcoholics Anonymous while going through the 12 Step Program.

The 12 Steps have become a strong foundation for their relationship, and has helped them navigate difficult times in their relationship. And aside from the 12 steps, theyve also come up with a few helpful tools of their own.

Whenever they have a conflict theyre having trouble resolving (relationship experts over at The Gottman Institute say that 69% of conflict in romantic relationships is unresolvable), Rich and Michelle each take a moment to rate on a scale from 1-10 how important the issue is to them personally.

The person with the lower number finds a way to make a compromise so that the conflict can be resolved.

Some people balk at this system, and say, You could just say 10 every time and win every argument!

I said the same thing.

But Rich and Michelle care for each other too much to lie and just get their way. This system of resolving conflict helps them understand how important something is to their partner and why. Its a system based on honesty, respect, and love. The reason it works so well for them is because they respect the process and they respect each other.

Make Out for 10 Seconds or Longer Every Day

My good friends Liz and Ryan vowed to never become the passionless couple who seem to live more like glorified roommates than husband and wife.

One of the commitments they have made to keep the passion alive and vibrant in their relationship is to make out for a minimum of 10 seconds every day

Life gets busy and pulls us in a million different directions. Its easy to let the little things go.

But when Ryan and Liz make it a priority to pin each other against a wall and share a good, passionate kiss that makes their toes curl and their ears tingle, they are adding another line of defense against boring, mediocre, passionless love.

Dont Settle for Mediocre Love

Average love is easy to come by.

It surrounds us every day.

Mediocre love is created by impatience, busy schedules, broken promises, and missed opportunities to display love.

Extraordinary, mind-boggling, knock-your-socks-off love is so, so, so, so possible! It just requires a commitment to be curious, patient, invested, kind, and a little creative every day.

I hope the tips in this article (and the awesome tips in the video) give you some ideas of how you can make your love more epic, and more your own.

Finally, share your own ideas to create amazing, lasting love using the hashtag #epiclove!
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries