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How spending time in nature as a kid changed me as an adult
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Amy Choate-Nielsen's kids go camping in Utah's Kodachrome State Park to bond with nature. - photo by Amy Choate-Nielsen
Kids, I want to tell you a story.

Once upon a time, I was also a kid. I had a lot of time on my hands. I had access to a TV that required the proper adjustment of its rabbit ears thats what we called the antenna and it had a knob that changed the channels. There was no remote.

We didnt have a computer. Or cellphone. Or internet. Or tablet. Or hand-held gaming device. It was just that one big, glass television in my parents bedroom that played my favorite cartoons in color, which was better than the little TV in the kitchen that only played things in black and white.

So, I had a lot of time on my hands, and I was mostly on my own filling that time with things to do. I watched a lot of cartoons. I stole fruit roll-ups out of the pantry. I rode my bike all over the neighborhood, and I wrote.

I took a notebook to the woods for inspiration, and I wrote stories about what I saw.

Looking back, I can see that those moments shaped me.

I didnt grow up camping, hiking or boating, but I did grow up with a wild backyard perched over the Arkansas River in Oklahoma. I let myself get lost in the darkness of the forest around me. I spent hours watching the water far below. I listened to the birds and the crickets and the sound of the trees. I let the leaves and branches over my head catch the rain as the thunder cracked and rolled away. I let the light of day nearly disappear before I sprinted home, alone. Alone, alone.

I can see that you dont have as much time on your hands. You have so many things to do. You have remote controls, computers, televisions, tablets and technology everywhere. Every day I have to wrestle with you to claim my place in your world that is so full of energy and noise. I hide the devices you hold in your hands, even though I am the one who bought them, and I let the batteries die because I want you to be educated, but I dont want you to let yourself get lost in something that isnt real. Where is your wild forest? Where is your shining lake?

Recently, I took you down to Kodachrome State Park in Utah, and we slept at the base of red-dirt spires that reached up to the skies. We left the rain fly off of the tent so we could see the banner of stars above us. We tiptoed in the darkness to brush our teeth in the bathroom with 50 other travelers. We hunted for scorpions and we barely made it back to our quiet camp before we fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. We let ourselves be scared of things bugs, ants, dirt, predators and we let ourselves be brave because we didnt run away.

But Ill be honest, there were a few times I wondered why we were there.

Every jaunt into the desert requires some adjusting. And during my adjustment, I cursed the gnats that would not leave my face alone. I blamed the park for the army of ants that marched through our site. The smoke from our fire bugged me. In the afternoon, I was hot. I was worried our ice would melt too quickly and the food would spoil. I yelled at you for not taking your shoes off when you got in the tent.

You loved the red rocks but hated the bugs. You could have lived in that winding slot canyon, but you balked at the sunscreen. You couldnt believe how far we could see on top of that small mountain, but you threatened to fall off the side if you didnt get something to eat soon.

Camping is a lot of work, but it is also a reward.

Wallace Stegner once said, Whatever landscape a child is exposed to early on, that will be the sort of gauze through which he or she will see all the world afterwards.

I want your filter to be the stuff of starry skies, rocks that glow in the sunset, the taste of marshmallows roasted over a fire and the closeness of sleeping in a tent. I want you to think back and remember feeling brave smaller than the hoodoos and spires around you but bigger than a house because you are a part of this magnificent and complicated universe. I want you to have some time on your hands.

I want for you what Edward Abbey wanted for his readers, and I echo his words: May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. May your rivers flow without end beyond that next turning of the canyon walls.

Gnats, heat, smoke and all Im ready. Lets go.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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