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Gratuity, please: The do's and don't's of tipping
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Tipping is an everyday issue, one that becomes all the more important during the holiday season. Here's a guide to tipping all year long. - photo by Jeff Wuorio
When the check comes for the meal you ate, think twice about that tip you may or may not want to leave to recognize the service you did, or didn't, receive.

Take a minute to look around and see all they are really doing," said Katy Kassian, who has 30 years in the hospitality business. "It's not that we didn't want to give you our all, we simply couldn't. Especially at the holidays.

She added the tip doesn't just go to the person clearing the tables.

In most restaurants, when times are tight" and staff gets cut, Kassian said, "it is not unusual for your server to also be your greeter, cashier, busser, janitor and dishwasher.

Tipping is something of a consumers no mans land, governed by rules and standards that few people take the time to learn. Without that knowledge, you can come off as a hard-hearted cheapskate, or you fret that youve wasted money. Moreover, that quandary becomes all the more acute with the holidays approaching who to tip and how much for a years work?

General rules

Tipping is designed to address two issues: First, it is a way of thanking and evaluating someone for serving you. The better the service, the bigger the tip. Secondly, for many professions, its a necessary source of income. For instance, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, as of May 2014, the mean hourly wage for waiters and waitresses hovered in the vicinity of $10 an hour.

That wage doesnt go very far. The Economic Policy Institute in 2014 reported that the $10 an hour average for waitstaff was well below the $16.48 average wage for other workers, placing many tipped workers in the bottom quarter of all American wage earners.

There are a growing number of restaurants that include the tip on the bill to boost employee wages, and many automatically tack on gratuities for large groups.

Generally speaking, do tip. That includes food servers, food delivery people and bartenders, said Benjamin Glaser, features editor with DealNews. Exact percentages and amounts can be adjusted depending on difficulty of the task and quality of the result.

He suggested using 15 to 20 percent as a guideline for people in the food service industry (usually calculated pre-taxes).

Other suggested tipping guidelines:

  • Service thats less involved, such as airport skycaps, hotel staff and parking attendants: A dollar or two per interaction will suffice, said Glaser.
  • Hotel maids: Between $3 and $5 per night, depending on quality, according to the website TripAdvisor.
  • Barbers and cab drivers: The same 15-20 percent guideline used for food servers.
Consumer should also factor in quality of service the wild card in tipping. Consumer finance expert Kevin Gallegos suggested the upper end of 20 percent for great service and 10-15 percent for mediocre attention.

If it was really terrible, it is not necessary to leave a tip, he added.

Not everyone agrees. Diane Gottsman of The Protocol School of Texas suggested something pretty outrageous would have to occur to warrant completely forgoing a tip.

The standard correct course is to talk to the general manager and handle it that way, she said. When you skip a tip there are usually multiple people involved.

Holiday tipping

In showing appreciation to others who provide regular services throughout the year, there is the customary holiday tip.

When deciding who you will tip, take into consideration the frequency of your visit, the personal attention you receive and, most importantly, your budget, Gottsman said.

The overall holiday tipping landscape can be broken down into those for whom a cash gift is appropriate and others whose service is best acknowledged in other ways. Starting with the cash crowd, here are some guidelines as recommended by Gottsman:

  • Apartment doorman Up to $100, depending on service provided throughout the year. More if you feel inclined, said Gottsman.
  • Handyman $20-$100.
  • Garage attendant $10-$50.
  • Landlord or building manager $50 and up.
  • Housekeeper Up to to one weeks pay, depending on service.
  • Newspaper delivery $10-$30.
  • Pool cleaner and lawn maintenance Equivalent to one weeks service.
  • Trash collector If there are no restrictions for public service workers, $10-$25 per person.
  • Babysitter A cash gift equivalent to one nights pay or gift card.
  • Nanny One weeks pay.
  • Hair stylist, manicurist, personal trainer, massage therapist A gift or cash equivalent to one visit.
  • Pet groomer A cash gift equivalent to one service.
  • Dog walker A cash gift equivalent of one day to one weeks service.
  • Private health care nurse A cash gift equivalent to one weeks pay.
There are those who cannot accept a cash tip for a variety of reasons. Mail carriers, for example, can't accept cash tips. In lieu of money, carriers can accept food treats and gifts valued up to $20.

Federal Express and United Parcel Service employees have a bit more leeway. FedEx prohibits cash or cash equivalents, but gifts up to $75 in value are OK. At UPS, When customers are insistent, so as not to be rude, (drivers) may accept something nominal, but in general we ask them to decline tips, said company spokesman Dan McMackin.

Dont offer your childs teacher a cash tip, cautioned Gottsman (it may come off as a bribe). Instead, go with a small, personal gift or a contribution geared to a class project. A modest gift is also a nice touch for school secretaries and nurses.

Holiday cookies, a gift bag of personal care items, a movie night gift package with popcorn and a video rental gift card and a gift certificate to a local restaurant are some ideas, Gallegos added.

No matter if its cash or some sort of gift, dont undercut a well-intentioned tip by simply handing it over. Instead, said Gottsman, include a personal holiday card or note expressing your appreciation. Whenever possible, deliver the gift in person.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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