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Family vacations inspire fodder for posterity
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Kids make vacations hard, but, in the end, it's worth it. - photo by Amy Choate-Nielsen
If you were in the back car of a shuttle in Zion National Park around noon on Friday, Id like to apologize on behalf of my 2-year-old.

My normally happy-go-lucky, laid-back guy had a meltdown that was, shall we say, unprecedented. It started when our party of 14 boarded the crowded bus, and I unwittingly took the 2-year-olds seat, thinking he could sit on my lap instead. It escalated when he wanted to fling himself out of the shuttles window once it started moving, and he was restrained, much to his aggravation.

He was hot, his personal space was compromised and his deepest desires for freedom were not being honored. So he did what all toddlers do when theyre fighting for control he cried.

And not just with his eyes. He cried with every cell in his body. He thrashed and rolled his body around so he couldnt be held. He screamed. He turned red in the face. He gnashed his teeth. He balled up his little fists and punched me. He slapped my face. He pinched my hands. He bawled, yelled and kicked.

Each second on that bus seemed to be an eternity as I tried to reason with my son with the effectiveness of scooping peanut butter onto the floor and asking it to dance.

I shushed him. I brushed his hair. I kept my hands away. I bounced him. I sang to him. I rubbed his back. I offered him food. I offered him treats. I passed him to his aunt. I took him back. I showed him the window. I blocked his screams with my palm.

He was inconsolable, and the time kept ticking on as slowly as possible as the driver drove as slowly as possible, the heat intensified to as hot as possible, and I tried to disappear as much as possible.

By the time we got off the shuttle about 25 minutes later, we were all traumatized, but especially my son. We found a spot in the shade to eat our lunch and to let him run around. He threw his shoes over a concrete barrier in marked protest to our tyranny.

Right about then, my husband looked around at our motley group sweaty, dirty, stuffing our faces, kids shrieking and running in circles and said he was just starting to remember the vow he made as a young employee at Teton National Park to never bring his family to a national park for vacation. Yet there we were.

To me, as much as I didnt like the embarrassment and stress of wrestling my son in front of a bus of strangers, the scene of a family at a crowded national park, sweating and hiking and exploring the world together, is the quintessential childhood memory.

Just as soon as we started our hike and everyone had finally finished whining and we were all having a great time, it was time to go.

Its true: Kids make traveling harder. But they also make it a lot more fun.

Somewhere down the line, one of my ancestors must have realized kids make things more complicated, but they saddled up and brought their brood along for an adventure anyway. Then their children brought their children from Tennessee to Texas, and from Texas to Oklahoma, and from Oklahoma to Connecticut, and from Bountiful, Utah, to Zion National Park.

I imagine the kids who came along with my relatives then were cheeky, and maybe a little bit tired like my 2-year-old and funny.

One day, on the same trip, my daughter said to me, in all seriousness, Mom, I feel like this room (where we slept) is a jail cell with just a TV in it and we are trapped.

But my other son saw the caverns carved out of a soaring canyon wall in Zion and declared thats where the purple sea eels lived, so wed better hide in the river.

And another time, after plenty of whining and stalling and crying, my children said to me, Mom, I loved that hike. Lets do it again.

I beamed. And almost, almost, forgot about the need to apologize to a bus full of strangers.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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