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Families worry about finances, but find ways to make ends meet
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Fran B. Reed - photo by Seth Olson
The newly released 2016 American Family Survey suggests that despite reports the economy has recovered, the financial footing of many families is tenuous and they are ill-prepared for an unexpected expense. The survey, now in its second year, was conducted in late July by YouGov for the Deseret News and the Center for the Study of Elections and Democracy at Brigham Young University. It includes responses from 3,000 American adults.

When respondents were asked to prioritize a list of top concerns facing families, concern about economic issues was up from last year, including concerns about the cost of raising kids, worries about a lack of good jobs and work stress on parents. Four in 10 Americans say they could survive less than a month on their savings. When it comes to asking for financial help outside of family, 15 percent say they could ask friends, but most (73 percent) say they would rely on themselves. Very few would turn to their religious community or neighbors.

In addition to the survey, the Deseret News, through the Public Interest Network, asked families from around the country about their financial concerns. While many expressed worries about their finances, they also have help they can turn to and are finding ways to make ends meet. Here is a sampling of their responses.

What keeps you up at night concerning family finances?

Susie Snortum

56

Portland, Oregon

Now that my husband and I both receive disability benefits, we finally have a consistent income that we can work with, even though it's tight. I worry that the kids could lose their jobs and we'd have to support them again. I'm saddened that they can't afford college and that limits their opportunities down the road.

Diane Whato

76

Wichita, Kansas

Nothing now. When I was with my first husband, I worried constantly about our finances. He always had a job, but we were always short of money. My first husband and I had three kids to raise. Theyre all raised now and self-sufficient, and have been for quite a while. Now my current husband and I live well on Social Security and my pension. We don't have extravagant spending habits, but we own our home and our cars are paid for.

What percentage of your income do you save each month?

Carl Krawitt

49

Corte Madera, California

When my wife and I were both working, we saved 40-50 percent (of our income). When our son was diagnosed with cancer and my wife was on leave from her job, we saved zero percent. We had only one income and we had new expenses such as specialized childcare for our daughter while our son was in the hospital. We put our retirement savings on hold for a while.

Susie Snortum

Age: 56

Portland, Oregon

None, although a decade ago we were saving 10 percent and feeling good about it. Now we budget closely to live within our means at one-third the income we had when we were both working.

Mark Muehlhausen

69

Schaumburg, Illinois

At this time I'm saving about 10 percent. It's getting harder to do this. In the past I have saved from the pension and Social Security income stream. But we're spending that just on living expenses now. Things I want to buy are getting more expensive.

Where have you turned to for financial help in the past?

Carl Krawitt

49

Corte Madera, California

When I was younger, I borrowed money from family to go to graduate school. I never felt comfortable asking for money, and my family did not ever willingly offer to loan me money. I always had to ask and I felt ashamed. 10 years later, when our son was diagnosed with cancer, the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society helped us with many of our questions about finance through their patient services programs.

Fran B. Reed

78

Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

My local church, but they only help a person once a year. At first, one food bank said I looked too healthy. I showed them my MRI reports of lesions on my brain from domestic abuse, and now they help.

Kathryn Linafelter Johnson

56

Minneapolis

My parents. I borrowed $5,000 for a down payment on my first home from my dad. It was a gift. My mother loaned me airfare to make a trip to meet relatives in Germany. I am also part of a complex, interwoven support network of unpaid family and friends. Where the economy fails, we pick up with small or large things that help each other out.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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