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Dont sext your significant other. Send these 14 love bombs instead
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Jennifer Lopez just said that sexting is a dangerous habit. Is she right? And, if so, what can couples do instead? - photo by Herb Scribner
Sexting has become a worldwide phenomenon with the rise of technology and interconnectedness. Its especially become something some married couples do, despite the overwhelming dangers associated with hitting the send button with a winking emoji.

Sexting has become so widely popular that celebrities have taken time to speak out against it. This was seen just recently when music artist Jennifer Lopez identified the text habit as something she would never do.

During a game called J Lo or J No on the Live with Kelly and Michael show, the music artist condemned sexting for all couples.

"(It's) dangerous. I'm just going to have to say J No, she said.

Lopezs comments won the support of the National Center of Sexual Exploitation, an organization that advocates against sexually explicit material. NCOSE Executive Director Dawn Hawkins said in an email to me that Lopezs approach is a major step forward, since it shows that if celebrities share their feelings about this issue more often, it could inspire real change and potentially lead to sextings downfall.

The fact of the matter is that once a sext is sent, whether through text message, Snapchat or the Internet, it is very likely that someone other than the intended recipient will see it, Hawkins said. Many online or relational abusers target girls and use their explicit photos as blackmail to coerce them into sending more images or potentially meeting in person. Celebrities like Jenifer Lopez have a tremendous opportunity to speak out and to help ease some of the social pressures to sext, so I hope that she will continue to talk about this subject."

Sexting can be a very real danger for people. According to a study from McAfee, about 54 percent of adults said they have used their phones to send provocative texts, photos or emails.

And it doesnt always end well. A study from the Internet Watch Foundation found that about 90 percent of sexted images are stolen and seen by people other than the original recipient, exposing ones privacy to potentially millions of other people.

But image-sharing isnt the only form of sexting. According to Merriam-Webster, sexting is the sending of sexually explicit messages or images by cell phone. Other definitions indicate that its the act of sexually texting someone.

Its not sexual texting, or sexually themed texting its sex texting. Texting as a simulacrum of doin it, Sam Biddle wrote for Gizmodo.

Some married couples debate whether or not the act should be considered cheating the answer is almost always yes since youre expressing physical acts of emotion to someone other than your spouse.

This is mostly an issue among unhappy couples, though. Experts told The Huffington Post that happy couples rarely engage in the sexual act.

Healthy women in intimate, committed relationships will not tend to sext, social worker Robert Weiss told The Huffington Post.

In fact, happy couples are more likely to engage in traditional texting, which can also reap many of the same so-called rewards of sexting. There are ways, according to experts who spoke with Bustle, that couples can feel intimate and in love just by sending a simple yet meaningful text.

"Sending texts is a good way to let your partner(s) know you are thinking of them," Shamyra Howard-Blackburn, a licensed clinical social worker who works in relationship therapy, told Bustle. "It can also heighten the suspense on what to expect when you see them again."

Howard-Blackburn said texting is an easy way for couples to stay in contact with each other, helping them avoid stretches of time when they cant communicate. Too much time without interaction, she said, could harm the relationship.

Relationship coach Melinda Carver told Bustle that couples should text each other at least two to five times a day on a variety of subjects. It depends, of course, on the specific couple. She also said that morning and evening texts are especially important, as itll be that easy reminder to your partner that you care.

"When you are apart, it is best to touch base in the morning and evening, Carver said. It lets your partner know that you are thinking of them and that they are important to you."

These are just a few of the ways you can text your spouse and make your relationship feel intimate, passionate and fresh. Here are 14 texts you can use as examples for how to talk with your spouse.

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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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