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Dear kids: In the grand scheme of things, excitement is a relative thing
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Amy Choate-Nielsen took off to Vernal for a four-day trip down the Green River from Colorado and back into the Beehive State. - photo by Amy Choate-Nielsen
If my children ever read the collection of stories Ive written in this column, there is a chance theyll someday see the last one about how they were the trip I did not take and maybe feel a little bad.

I dont mean to say my children robbed me of my dreams theyve far fulfilled them in ways I never knew possible but there are a few practical, logistical changes that came to some of my interests when I had children.

Life is still an adventure, and one of the things Ive learned is you never know what thrill what escapades and excitement is waiting around the corner. Sometimes, theres even a little danger.

When lifes little adventures fall into your lap, I say dive in. It may not be the experience you expected but sometimes its even better.

I had one of those unexpected adventures this summer.

I have a friend who is the artist in residence for Holiday River Expeditions, a river-rafting company based in Utah that guides groups of people through the great Western rivers the Green, the Yampa, the Colorado, Salmon, San Juan and so on. Each has a story of its own, some smooth, others full of whitewater; some cold, others warm, with different geological formations and birds drifting overhead.

Ive always wanted to float down a river its one of those dreams I had that wasnt quite practical with little ones.

So when my friend told me about her upcoming trip to Lodore Canyon and asked if I wanted to come, I was a little surprised when I heard the words, Yes! Absolutely! come out of my mouth. I did not hesitate.

My saintly sister-in-law agreed to watch my children while I took off to Vernal for a four-day trip down the Green River from Colorado and back into the Beehive State. I brought journals, pens, books, sunscreen and a small camera. I thought I would spend hours writing, inspired by the beauty around me.

But what happened was this: I couldnt tear my eyes away from the canyon walls long enough to form any words to describe what I was seeing. When I lay in my sleeping bag at night, I could only stare straight up at the stars peeping through my mesh windows. I fell asleep with the feeling that my body was still rocking and bobbing on the raft, the thick green water was rolling along in my line of vision, and the sun was baking my knees and feet.

I fell asleep before I could open my pen.

There is something about floating down a river that is both exhilarating and calming at the same time. I spent hours lying on my back, staring at the red walls of an erupting fault line soaring above my head, and minutes perched on the lip of the raft, one hand anchored in, one hand out, screaming with delight as I faced the rapids.

I decided to get into an inflatable rubber kayak to try out a few of the little rapids the experts call wavy trains. The kayak was a ducky.

The guides told us this rule of thumb: If you find yourself out of the raft (or ducky) in a rapid, point your nose and toes downstream and just float to safety. My artist friend told me the secret to kayaking is to go with the flow. So as I started sliding gently downstream, I tried to fight my urge to control every inch of my direction. I tried to relax a little. But when the sound of the water around me picked up a little like a utility fan on a medium setting and the waves started bouncing me along, my pulse quickened and I gripped the paddles stiffly.

I came to a rapid, headed straight for a scary-looking rock outcropping, and I froze. I didnt know what to do. If I paddled, I would surely crash. If I didnt, I would capsize. Back-paddling wasnt an option because I didnt know how. So before I could make a decision, I bumped into the rock, turned sideways and got dumped into the rapid.

I came up gasping for air. It was cold, and I was panicky. I tried to grab the paddle and pull myself back into the kayak, while I marveled about how tall and powerful those waves were. Nose and toes, I thought, nose and toes. I pointed them downstream and came out of the rapid unscathed, adrenaline racing.

It looked like you just let the river take you, my guide said.

I was trying to go with the flow, I said.

Ive thought about that moment for a long time. It was exciting, scary, empowering and invigorating. I was terrified, but Id do it again. My river experience was equal parts challenging and comforting, and I surprised myself again and again as I willingly pushed at the boundaries of my comfort zone.

When it was all over, I was just as spellbound, in awe of the rawness around me, and a little sad to leave that world behind. There was one thing, however, that drove me on with even greater excitement.

I could not wait to get home and see my kids.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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