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Book review: Are you my cousin? Its All Relative' charts one mans quest to show were all related
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Writer A.J. Jacobs will read from and sign copies of his new book "It's All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the World's Family Tree" at The King's English on Tuesday, Nov. 14. - photo by Elizabeth Reid
"IT'S ALL RELATIVE: Adventures Up and Down the World's Family Tree," by A.J. Jacobs, Simon & Schuster, 352 pages (nf) (ages 16 and up)

It all started when New York Times bestselling author A.J. Jacobs received an email from a man who claimed to be his eighth cousin through marriage. As the two corresponded, Jacobs wondered more about his ancestors, which led him to delve deeply into his personal genealogy in Its All Relative: Adventures Up and Down the Worlds Family Tree.

Jacobs jumped head-first into his family tree and quickly became immersed in his own past. He did genealogical research, hired professionals, completed several DNA tests and even visited a family history library. He also read various genealogy books and watched shows such as Who Do You Think You Are. Basically, Jacobs didnt leave any genealogical stone unturned and his passion for learning about his family roots deepened the more he dug in.

As Jacobs spent time researching his famous, and mostly not-so-famous, progenitors, he became struck that everyone who has ever lived, and is currently living, is related. The more Jacobs studied, the more he became convinced that if people viewed each other as cousins, no matter how far removed that cousinship was, the world would be a happier, more peaceful place. But, he realized, the key would be to have all of these relatives meet and how better to do so than with a family reunion for the world?

The book follows Jacobs attempt and adventures of trying to put together what he titled the Global Family Reunion, which was held June 3 in Queens, New York, earlier this year. Although he fell significantly short in having all inhabitants of the world gather to meet, the gathering did raise $67,000 for Alzheimers research.

Jacobs book has short chapters that are fun and easy to read. Its just as amusing to learn about his Jewish ancestors as it is to read of him retelling his wifes one-liners. Full of self-deprecating anecdotes, readers will find plenty to laugh at in "It's All Relative."

But there are also serious beliefs presented in the book. While the idea of all the inhabitants of the earth being related is one that very few would dispute, Jacobs has liberal ideas that may not sit well with some readers. A disbeliever of creationism, he goes beyond the idea of Adam and Eve and views the ultimate ancestor as bacteria. Also, although he understands the power of traditional families, his liberal viewpoint of open love, including polymorphous families where consenting adults share sexual partners and co-parent each others children is also one that could be offensive to some.

Content advisory: Its All Relative has no violence and a handful of profanities. Sex is talked about in several places, including the use of some crudities.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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