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Are you your soul mate?
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Are you still looking for your soul mate? Perhaps you should look inside yourself to see if you are your own perfect match. - photo by Megan Shauri
We spend most of our lives searching for our one true soul mate. The one person that completes us, understands us and is accepting of us. But have you ever considered yourself to be your soul mate? You are the person you spend the most time with, so shouldnt you be your own perfect match? Here are some questions to ask yourself in order to see if you are your own soul mate.

Can you spend time alone with yourself?

This is an important quality to have. The ability to spend time alone shows you have a healthy relationship with yourself. You do not need to be surrounded by others to be happy. You can be happy doing things your own way and in your own time. Soul mates want to be together and are comfortable being alone with each other. Until you can spend time alone with yourself, you cannot be your own soul mate.

Are you happy about the decisions you have made in the past?

We all make mistakes in life, but being able to overcome our faults is an important step in being happy with who you are. Your past can influence your present. Even if you made mistakes, you can still have a successful future. It is how you corrected those mistakes or went on despite of them that makes up your character and your ability to love others and yourself.

Do you feel good about yourself?

How is your overall feeling about yourself? Are you happy with who you are? Do you consider yourself a good friend to others? Are you proud of how far youve come? These are important qualities in a soul mate. Being confident with who you are is attractive to others, including yourself. You will have less stress, more happiness and a better life if you like who you are.

Have you achieved goals you set for yourself?

Being able to make and accomplish your goals is a sign that you have faith in yourself. You would not be able to make or keep a goal if you did not believe you could complete it. Being able to do that is a sign that you have the trust and confidence that you can achieve hard things.

Do you encourage yourself?

A soul mate is someone who can encourage you in times of trial. Can you do that for yourself? Do you beat yourself up for every mistake you make or do you pick yourself up and move on? A person who can encourage himself or herself is a person who has the potential to be successful in life. Recognize your faults and learn from them rather than dwell on them.

Do you stand up for yourself?

Are you the type of person who lets others walk all over you or do you stand up for your desires and wants? A soul mate will always protect the one he or she loves. That means you have to protect yourself. Allow yourself to voice your concerns and opinions to others. If something is bothering you, speak up. You dont have to be mean or argumentative, but if you never stand up for yourself, you may be easily influenced or find yourself in situations you do not want to be in.

Can you love others freely?

It is important to love yourself, but it is also important to love others. Being kind, loving, caring and concerned for others shows your true soul. Your heart makes up a large part of yourself, and keeping it open to others is how you learn to love with all your being.

If you can answer yes to any of these questions, then you have the potential to be your own soul mate. When you are your own soul mate, it opens you up to being someone elses soul mate, or at least someone elses companion, friend, husband, wife or parent. In loving yourself, you can more freely and openly love others.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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