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9 ways to hold on to what matters most
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With everything vying for your attention, how to you hold on to what matters the most? - photo by Melinda Fox
"This is all worth it," said Stephanie Nielson about the pain, scars and challenges she has experienced as a result of a plane crash several years ago. While escaping from the burning plane left her with both physical and emotinal damage, Nielson explains that her suffering is worth it because she focuses on what matters most. She said, "I am a wife and mother. The accident couldn't take that away from me."

Sometimes tragedies or even daily struggles can cause us to shift our focus away from what matters most. Here are 10 ways you can keep yourself grounded in things that are truly important:

1. Evaluate your priorities

It's impossible to hold our focus on what matters most when we don't even know what's important to us.

Take time to mediate. Ask yourself these questions: what makes me happy? Where do I want to be 10 years from now? Who do I want to be? Write your thoughts and make it a priority to discover your priorities.

2. Keep your priorities where you can see them

You might want to slap a sticky note on your mirror, hang a photo on the wall or keep a notecard on your desk. Prevent your priorities from escaping your mind by keeping them in sight.

3. Start a gratitude journal

A gratitude journal is a daily log of all the things you're grateful for. Taking 5 minutes at the end of the day to reflect on all the things you have to be thankful for helps you concentrate on what matters most.

4. Take care of yourself

It's hard to hold onto what matters most when you're losing yourself. Make sure you are adequately caring for yourself. Start cooking at home, join a yoga class, shower often and get enough sleep. As you take time for yourself, the time you spend focusing on what matters most will be more valuable.

5. Make a plan

If you don't have the specifics spelled out of how you are going to hold onto what matters most, it's going to be more challenging to actually do it. Create a plan you can stick to. For example, if your family matters most to you, set a goal to take your wife on a date every week or read your kids a story every night.

6. Minimize distractions

So many things can prevent you from giving the right attention to what matters the most. Things like television, social media, and even activities that are important like housework or errands can make us lose focus on what's really important to us. Choose your daily activities with a broader vision of how they will affect your life rather than looking at them in the short term.

7. Look back

Many people discourage looking at the past. While it can be detrimental to hang onto the past or allow what's behind you to prevent you from moving forward, looking back can help you both realize how far you've come and remember what matters most. For example, you can quickly make a custom photo book using Chatbooks to help you remember what's important to you or read old journals to see how you've changed.

8. Turn off negative thoughts

Negative thoughts will destroy your focus on the important things. Often these thoughts are automatic, like expecting the worst outcomes of a situation or assuming people are thinking unkind things about us. Idenitfy these negative thoughts as they come and replace them with positives. Negativity is not what matters most, don't allow it to become the most important thing on your mind.

9. Act today

If something matters the most, give it the respect it deserves. Don't wait. Act now to hold on to what matters the most.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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