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8 reasons why your wife isnt happy
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Ever wonder why your wife is not happy? Here are some ideas. - photo by Megan Shauri
Husbands often feel it is their responsibility to make their wives happy. While that should definitely be a priority, dont feel like a failure if she still seems unhappy despite your best efforts. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you; it is an internal battle only she can overcome. It does not mean she is a lost cause, just that you may need to take a different approach. First, you need to understand why your wife isnt happy. Here are some reasons:

1. She is overwhelmed

This is a common culprit behind a womans unhappiness. It doesnt take much to feel overwhelmed. She goes through a variety of emotions on a daily basis, and it's exhausting. Fear, joy, heartache, anger, love and anxiousness are feelings she has every day. With all there is to do, all she is responsible for, and all the road blocks that pop up along the way, it can lead to feeling overwhelmed. This does not make her happy.

2. She is tired

Sometimes, a womans unhappiness is simple due to the fact that she is tired. Who is the first to wake up in your house? Who is the last to go to bed? Who stays up and cleans/cooks/organizes/works while everyone else is taking a nap? In most homes, it is the wife. Sometimes five hours of sleep is the most shell get a night until the kids are grown and gone and she has retired. Keep that in mind when trying to find ways to help your wife be happy.

3. She is wearing too many hats

Women have several different titles: wife, mom, employee, cook, maid, coiffure, volunteer, friend, daughter, and fixer of all problems. While she is most likely proud of the hats she wears, occasionally they pull her in too many directions. When she doesnt have adequate time for each role, some are neglected, and she knows it. Your wife is not happy when she can't give 100% to every role she takes on.

4. She is missing something in her life

Unhappiness could be due to missing something. Something major like the inability to have children, or something smaller like not having a fulfilling job that just bring home a paycheck can make her feel empty. If she seems unhappy on a daily basis, it is probably for this reason. Try and help her pinpoint exactly what is missing, and help her create a plan to change it. Or, cope with the emotions she's going through because of it.

5. She is not taking enough time for herself

This is a huge reason why wives arent happy, but a difficult one to permanently fix. A forced night out with friends or spa day once in a while will help, but making a woman regularly take time out for herself is hard. She may feel guilty, selfish or like she is neglecting another more important duty by taking alone time. The hard part is, by not spending time on herself, she is sabotaging her own happiness. It is vital to have moments of rejuvenation and relaxation so she has the energy to devote herself to other responsibilities.

6. She has her priorities confused

It is easy for a woman to confuse her priorities. She tends to put everyone else before herself. She may think creating an elaborate birthday party (with the work keeping her up all hours of the night for a week) is the only thing that matters. And she may forget her own dreams because she focuses on making everyone elses come true first. While it is possible she feels she is doing the right thing, it can often lead to feelings of unhappiness.

7. She doesnt know how to ask for help

Women tend to take on the world, but dont know how to or are afraid to ask for help. Asking for help can make her feel she is inadequate, failure or giving up control. These feelings not only cause her unhappiness, but also prevent her from asking for help. Try and offer help even when she doesnt ask.

8. She is pressured by todays standards

With everyone sharing the amazing parts of their lives on social media, it is hard not to compare someone elses triumphs to her failures. She may feel if she is not planning amazing dates for her husband every week then she is a bad wife. Or if her child is not a prodigy by the time they are four then she has failed as a parent. Sometimes it can even be the little things like not putting her kids in a sport, or not cooking a homemade meal every night that leaves her feeling inadequate and unhappy.

Hopefully these ideas can help you see just why your wife is not happy. Despite what is troubling her, your number one job is to just keep loving her. Knowing she is loved by you helps more than you know. Try and help her to discover the cause of her unhappiness. Until she can see it, she wont be able to overcome it. Be her rock and support. She needs you now more than ever.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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