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8 controversial parenting styles that you may be using
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Some of these child-rearing methods will surprise you. Are you doing any of them? - photo by Jenna Koford
We've all been at a store in the mall or a restaurant when a frustrated mother will grab her child, pull them in close, and whisper threatening words into the worried child's ear. The mother is trying to be discrete and forceful at the same time, but each time I see this whispered interaction, I get scared myself.

Parenting styles or methods have changed dramatically in the last few decades. We now have more information than ever before, but that also means we have more options too. The hardest part of parenting is that every person is different, and most importantly, every child is different.

Some of these techniques may seem odd or outdated, but many of them work for certain families. Here are eight parenting methods that you may be using:

1. The adult life

In this method, every child is treated like an adult. Baby-related objects like toys and strollers are too childish and only encourage acting like a baby. These parents don't do baby talk, but they aren't ice cold either. People who argue for this method say that children grow up smarter and more responsible.

2. The hard knock life

These parents are all about discipline, discipline, and discipline. They believe in spanking children in a loving way, setting strict curfews and having charts or rewards systems. This method promotes hard work, but it's not taught in a destructive waylife is still fun, but it's much more structured.

3. The attached-at-the-hip life

Children under this parenting style become clingy: attached-at-the-hip parents believe in sleeping together, breastfeeding for a very long time, and spending every moment together.

In this style, the child gets to announce when they no longer want to sleep together, breastfeed, or stay attached. Some attached parents who don't have many rules for their children lose some of their child's obedience.

4. The spice of life

This is the "wash your mouth out with a bar of soap" parenting style. Others, in more recent years, have used hot sauce to teach their little ones a lesson. Many frown upon this style, but some believe it's the best way to stop a tantrum, swear word, or fight.

5. The lean life

Being healthy and fit is the main focus for this style. Parents are health gurus and put their children on a no-carb, no-sugar diet. Children must exercise often or stay outside for a certain amount of time each day. Athletic families will often ride bikes together or cheer each other on from the sideline.

6. The diaper-free life

This method, also called "elimination communication," involves knowing your child's body and signals. Parents avoid using diapers and will place a child on the toilet even from infancy. Knowing the baby's body will help parents eliminate waste in the environment. But some parents don't have the time or desire to stand over a toilet with their crying baby.

7. The bird feeder life

Another food-related parenting style resembles a bird. Some parents will eat a normal meal and chew their food thoroughly. Then, the parent will spit that food into the child's mouth. If babies learn this from a young age, they'll be extra alert when mom or dad has food in their mouth. This method, in public, is probably not ideal.

8. The model life

These parents will do anything for a good photo. Many mommy bloggers or stylists have been accused of using their baby as a prop. Parents will spend hours dressing up their baby, posing them for photos, and trying to make it look as natural and perfect as can be.

I thought I wanted to be this kind of parent until I realized that it's impossible for me to have matching outfits for my children every single day.

Maybe you're proud of one of these parenting styles because it works for you, or maybe you cringe when reading all of them. You may know some people who use one of these controversial methods. Think about what style you and your spouse use, or what you should be doing to bring happiness to your home.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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