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7 social media sins that are killing your relationship
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Are you using social media to poison your relationship? - photo by Melinda Fox
In a handful of years, the way we perceive and act in relationships has changed so much due to the invention of social media. The way we see into others' lives and how they see into ours has been transformed, so it's no surprise our relationships have been affected. While there are certainly positive outcomes from being social online, we sometimes undercut the social media virtues by doing things on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. that ruin our relationships.

Here is a list of things you may be doing on social media that are destroying your once-great relationship.

1. You're trying to keep up with the Kardashians

Two words: Don't compare. In the age of social media, we see a flood of Pinterest-perfect relationships, which can make us feel like something is wrong with our own relationship for not being so "pin-worthy."

However, that picture of perfection is just a piece of the reality instead of the complete picture. Your relationship is the whole deal with the ugly parts and the beautiful parts (and, believe it or not, so is that relationship of that adorable couple on that adorable blog). Don't attempt to believe you should be able to Photoshop out the imperfections.

2. You keep in touch with your ex

You don't necessarily have to delete your ex from all your friend and following lists. However, you shouldn't use social media as a "safe" way to keep in touch with your past partners. What starts out as a harmless Facebook chat can escalate quickly. Keep all your communication with past boyfriends or girlfriends out of the private realm by keeping your current partner informed about your communications. If it's something you aren't comfortable posting on their Timeline, you shouldn't be saying it anyway.

3. You post provocative pictures

It can't make your girlfriend feel comfortable to see you sharing your shirtless bathroom selfies. Likewise, it can't make your boyfriend too happy to see your sunbathing photo out for the world to see.

Keep those things between the two of you and off of social media.

4. Passive aggressive status updates

If you tweet, "I hate when he's late," you're making mistakes left and right; but, worst of all, you are telling everyone else about an issue that should be discussed just between the two of you.

It may seem like you'll blow off more steam by putting it in the public eye and getting validation for your frustration from everyone's comments, but it's just as easy to type the same thing out in a text to your partner instead.

5. You're glued to your phone

This one's obvious, but it has to be said. It's easy to get sucked into technology. Since the invention of smartphones, we hold our social media networks in our pockets. You can think you're spending quality time with your honey, but really all you've done is sit next to each other while you scroll through your Instagram feed.

6. You post everything about your relationship

People shouldn't know everything about your relationship. It's not good for your followers or for the two of you. Much of what goes on in relationships should be kept private (and isn't that intimacy part of the fun?).

Discuss with your partner what things each of you feel are appropriate to share on the Internet. Set some guidelines, and stick with them.

7. You live for the like

Instead of enjoying the moment, you focus on how you can get the best photo uploaded to Instagram to prove to everyone that you have the best boyfriend. Before the invention of social media, the main purpose of photos was to help ourselves remember great moments. But now the focus is sharing great moments with other people.

Don't live life for the screen. Choose to relieve yourself of that pressure and enjoy the moment with the one you love.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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