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7 signs you need help getting over your heartbreak
Is your heartbreak going to take more than time to heal? - photo by Emily Cummings
Heartbreak is never pleasant. No one goes into a relationship hoping it will end with hurt feelings, a broken heart, and a return to the single life; but thats sometimes the case. So, after a few weeks of tears, time for yourself, and more binge sessions of Netflix than youd like to admit, you are recoveringright? It really does take time for you to bounce back, but sometimes even time cant heal all wounds. If you are feeling these 7 things long after the breakup, its time to get some help.

1. Happily never after.

A misanthropic and cynical view of love isnt going to get your heart ready to date again. You might not have the most optimistic feelings towards relationships after a breakup, but if it has been months, and you still cant stand to watch the end of a romantic comedy, your heart is not healing. It may take more than just you to help you to trust and love again.

2. Im not free on Friday.

Your last relationship broke your heart, but it doesnt mean that dating = terrible breakups. Itll work out despite the bumpy road. But in order for that to happen, you need to start dating again. Not immediately (no one likes a rebound), but having a little crush or enjoying yourself during a dinner date shows your heart that you can love again. If this reality seems out of your reach, it could be time for you to get some help.

3. So my last boyfriend.

Ah, the comparison game. Despite the fact that you never want to see his face again, you seem to compare any possible date to your ex. You talk yourself out of potential suitors because your last boyfriend actually played basketball, not just messed around on the court. You wouldnt want to go out with someone who was seeing how you compare to his last beau, why are you doing the same?

4. Depression.

Sadness accompanies any level of heartbreak, but depression after a broken heart is all too common and much more serious. Its more than just feeling sad, crying some, and feeling down. You arent yourself. You dont have any motivation to get out of bed though its been weeks and weeks after hearing were through. Your favorite hobbies hold no appeal. Dont think that time will make it better, or you are just going through a phase. Get help.

5. #ImWatchingYou.

Avoid the social media stalking (and in-person stalking too, for that matter). Obsessing over every post, every tag, and every tweet is going to drive you over the edge. Dont torture yourself by hopping online to see who theyve been seeing or have been spending their time with. If its been months and you still find yourself drawn to their Facebook page, its time to move forward.

6. But, he was perfect.

After a while, theres a tendency to only remember the positive, even though he actually wasnt perfect. Idealizing the relationship makes you fall deeper in love with the idea of the person, not the actual person. You are fabricating an ideal that doesnt exist, making it impossible for anyone to live up to that false standard. Remember to not dwell on the relationship too much, but avoiding the topic completely is impossible. When you do walk down memory lane, remind yourself there were things that were less than perfect.

7. Baggage check.

Its difficult to see the good thats come out of this breakupbut its there. Yes, youve got some emotional baggage, but that doesnt mean its all bad. Its going to be hard to open up with someone new and put yourself in a vulnerable situation, but its not impossible. A popular quote reads, Everyone you meet comes with baggage; find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. If you cant commit to a relationship or feel like your romantic past is holding you down, its time to get past it.

Why keep yourself from being happy? Being hung up on only being happy when you are with someone is keeping you from the chance to be completely you (and figure out exactly what that means). No one is saying its easy to get over the hurt and betrayal of a breakup, but there are those that can help you. Whether you can do this with the help of friends, or the help of a professional doesnt matter. Its time.
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