By allowing ads to appear on this site, you support the local businesses who, in turn, support great journalism.
5 essentials for finding yourself again after pregnancy
a9cb4b82530448ff66da4bdea0dbd7c774305ba61eb254bf456031b5f6b13ac4
Being a mom can be hard. Dont forget to take the time for yourself and to be yourself. You deserve it. - photo by Cristel Romero
You may have dreamed about it your entire life; or you may not have thought anything of it before. Perhaps it came easy; or you had to fight for it. Maybe you werent planning it at all. Whatever the circumstances, its here. Youve become a mom. YOU ARE MOM. And, if you are like most moms, you love it. Its wonderful; but what about the times when its not? What about the times you wish you could go back to your old identity? The answer is simple: You can; you just have to find her again. She is there, hiding behind baggy eyes, stretch marks and spit-up stains.

Here are five essentials for finding yourself again after pregnancy and becoming a mom.

1. Gym membership

How predictable, right? Wrong. This gym membership is not for your physical self; its for your mental health. Sure, losing that baby weight and getting healthy can boost your confidence and physically help bring back that girl you were before; however, by getting yourself a gym membership, you are doing so much more. Once you have that membership card in hand, you have your ticket to the lost land of ALONE TIME. Getting out of the house is hard once you have a baby; mostly because you dont want to leave all that cuteness coming from the human you worked so hard to create and keep alive. However, alone time is vital. By having a gym membership, you are giving yourself an excuse, if you will, to get out and focus on yourself. While running on the treadmill you can clear your thoughts, mentally plan next weeks menu (it has to be done!) or simply listen to something other than lullabies.

2. Get out

Dont feel like you are a prisoner in your own home. Your baby will be OK and even enjoy a walk around the block, taking a stroller ride around the mall or tagging along as you visit friends. Being confined can be breeding grounds for negativity, loneliness and often depression. You and your baby will both benefit from getting out.

3. Friends

Do you even have any friends left? Yes, they are just waiting for you to show signs of life. Get out with them. Nothing will make you feel like you are closer to who you once were than those you feel most comfortable around. Make time for them. Chances are, they are just waiting for you to be ready. Not only will being with them rejuvenate and inspire you, but it will remove any possible guilt you may feel about neglecting them (even though you arent; you just had a major life change!). It should also be noted that your husband is one of those friends you should not neglect. Dont forget about him. You are not the only one that just became a parent. Make a weekly or even monthly date night with him. It is easy to get wrapped up in your baby; thats what makes you a good mom. But be careful to not forget that you have other people in your life that you need and who need you.

4. Beauty routine

Stick to it. Maybe you never wore a lot of makeup or worried about your hair before you had a baby. Thats fine. Just try to stick somewhat to the same routine you had before, even if that just means washing your face nightly or plucking your eyebrows every once in awhile. If you like to go to a salon and get the full package, do it as much as time and funds allow. You are important. Its amazing how great it feels to get a fresh haircut, manicure or even a massage. You dont need to worry about going all out; simply do similar things to what you did previously.

5. Self-reflection

Write in a journal. Meditate. Do whatever you need in order for you to discover yourself. After all the advice of getting a gym membership, hanging out with friends/spouse and getting out, the most important thing you can do for yourself is to accept that you are never going to be who you were before; at least not completely. And, guess what -- thats OK. Self-reflection will give you the insight and quite possibly the foresight on who you are now after your pregnancy and becoming a mom. You can take parts of the girl you used to be, along with who you are as a mom, and accept the amazing person you have become.

Being a mom can be hard. Dont forget to take the time for yourself and to be yourself. You deserve it.
Sign up for our E-Newsletters
How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
ce406c66b9871a104ac24256a687e4821d75680dcfc89d9e5398939543f7f88f
A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
Latest Obituaries