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4 surefire ways to make your child more confident
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Bruce Feiler, an author and New York Times columnist, has four ideas on how to talk to children about telling their personal stories. - photo by Herb Scribner
One Christmas, FamilySearch President Steve Rockwood asked for a Beatles wig and a ukulele. He didnt get it. So the next Christmas, he asked for a BB gun.

That gift he got. He wasnt allowed to shoot it at first, so his father, right then on Christmas morning, took the gun from Rockwoods hand and fired a round into the tree, shattering a glass ornament.

Its a story that Rockwood often retells because its one of his favorite memories he has with his father. As he said during the RootsTech Conference Thursday morning, this story instills a number of emotions in him, like happiness, joy, remembrance and even sadness, since his father has since passed away.

Its family stories like this that get told over and over, he said. These stories say something about us and our family values.

Those values only continue to be embraced with each story that is told, especially if parents take the time to retell stories with specific purposes and reasons, he said.

Another keynote speaker at the conference, Bruce Feiler, an author and New York Times columnist, had some specific ideas on what parents can do to help their children learn stories about their history.

Here are four ideas he gave during his keynote speech thatll help you with raising your child.

Write a family mission statement

Feiler said families should create a mission statement as a way to set guidelines about who they want to be. He told a story about how his daughter got in trouble at school and had a meeting with the principal. When she came home, she spoke with Feiler and his wife, who were, at first, baffled about how to talk with their daughter about discipline.

But then Feilers wife looked to the mission statement and asked the daughter if her actions violated any of the guidelines. She said they did, and immediately Feiler and his wife had an opportunity to teach their daughter a lesson.

Feiler said these mission statements allow parents and their children to stay on the same page and keep their family values intact.

Autobiography night

This is a relatively simple idea. Spend one night a week telling each other stories about their daily lives, or allow children to share stories about their own day-to-day lives, Feiler said.

Parents can also ask their children to write a short poem about their days or memories, too. This method allows children to share their memories in a creative space that will allow for greater storytelling and interaction, he said.

This can help children become more creative with their language, too. A 2014 study found that children who tell stories in different ways develop language skills better than those who dont.

Always include pictures

Young people are using photos more than ever before to share their memories. So parents should only work to continue that tradition, Feiler said. This may require parents to take photos of their childs memories along the way so that they can reflect on them later in life.

Feiler isnt the only expert to recommend this. Researchers from the University of Waterloo in Ontario, Canada, found in 2013 that children have better language development when they read stories that have detailed pictures, The Telegraph reported.

"When reading the picture story, we would hear [mothers] say things such as, 'Where do you think the squirrel is going to go?' or 'We saw a squirrel this morning in the backyard, professor Daniela ONeill told The Telegraph. But we didn't hear this kind of complex talk as often with vocabulary books, where mentioning just the name of the animal, for example, was more common."

Tell your family history

Family history was the biggest part of the RootsTech conference, and it was not lost on Feiler. Stories about other family members' triumphs and failures will help inspire children to either succeed or find confidence to do better, he said.

He said children will feel more confident to face lifes difficulties when they know their parent or family member went through similar difficulties and persevered. The same goes for success. If they know a fellow family member succeeded at something, they will work to do the same, Feiler said.

Writer and author AJ Jacobs has long been advocating for telling family stories, too. He said family history offers a learning moment for children, mostly because they dont have to necessarily follow the path of a less-than-stellar ancestor, CNN reported.

When you're a kid, you think you're the most important, you're the only person out there, the world revolves around you, and this is just one way to show them no, you are part of this massive world. You are just one link in the chain, Jacobs said.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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