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4 reasons why you should play favorites with your kids
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Actually, playing favorites might be the best thing you've ever done for your babies. - photo by Megan Shauri
If you have more than one child then you already know that you are capable of loving more than one person with all your soul. You definitely love all of your children, but... you love them differently. Each one touches your heart strings in different ways.

We hear we shouldn't play favorites with our children, but here are some reasons why playing favorites may be the best thing you can do for your children.

1. Each has unique qualities

Every child is unique. Their qualities need to be nurtured and developed. If you try to treat all your children the same you miss out on developing some of those talents. If you force your children to all participate in one or two activities, you may be overlooking something another one is good at. Observe and treasure each child's differences rather than only finding things they can all do together.

2. Every child needs to feel important

Your kids need one-on-one time with you. They need to spend time with you away from their siblings and friends. By getting to know them individually, you remind your baby how much he or she is loved. It's okay to spoil them a little without giving something to each child. Make them the center of attention for a moment. If you do the same with each child at different times then the children who are not taken out independently will know their turn will come soon enough and they can be happy for the time their brother or sister got to spend with you rather than jealous.

3. Children express and receive love differently

Some express their love with hugs and kisses while others do acts of service. Learn each child's love language so you can express it in a way they understand. Loving each child in the same way might make you may lose connection with your children. If one child needs extra attention, give it to them. There will be a day when they no longer come to you for comfort, take advantage of the times they do come to you and encourage them to continue to do so.

4. Children need to learn to be happy for others

Let's face it, sometimes one child does better at something than their brother or sister. Praise them for it. Let them know it is okay to do good things - it encourages them to keep doing it. Your other children will learn to be happy when someone does great. Teach them that just because someone succeeds, it doesn't mean the other is not good enough; their time will come as well, and at that time their sibling will be happy for them.

The key to playing favorites with your kids is to make sure that each gets a chance to be the favorite. Love children differently, but don't withhold love from one child and only give to another. Children are individuals with individual needs, take time to explore what they need and how they will best blossom within your family unit.
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How to avoid 'sharenting' and other paparazzi parenting habits
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A recent study revealed parents often spend up to two hours staging a single photo of his or her child to post online. - photo by Amy Iverson
Before having kids, some people just dont appreciate their friends baby posts. But after having a child of their own, three fourths of new parents jump right on the parental social media bandwagon. If you have become a member of this group, there are some rules to follow for posting responsibly.

Much of a parents worry is how to teach their children to use social media responsibly. We talk with our kids about privacy, oversharing, and setting restrictions on their devices to keep them safe. But parents themselves need to look in the digital mirror once in a while. Before having children, it doesnt take as much effort to think about what to post online. Its up to us to decide what we share about our own lives. But once you become a parent, there are many questions to think about regarding what is appropriate to post about your kids on social media.

In a recent survey, kids clothing subscription company Mac and Mia surveyed 2000 new parents to find out how they are documenting their kids lives on social media, and what concerns they may have.

First of all, people without children seem to feel a bit differently about the onslaught of baby pictures online than those who are parents. 18 percent of people say before they had kids, they were annoyed by their friends baby posts. But after having children of their own, 73 percent admit they post progress pictures of their little ones every single month.

Not only are new parents letting the world know each time their baby is a month older, but they are posting about their kids every few days or so. Men and women report they post 6-7 times per month about their baby.

And while 70 percent of new parents say the benefit of using social media is how easy it is to help family and friends feel involved, there are some downsides. Here are a few tips to avoid the pitfall of becoming paparazzi parents.

Dont miss the moment

In the Mac and Mia survey, some parents admitted to spending up to two hours to get the perfect shot of their baby. That seems a little extreme. New and old parents alike should be careful about spending so much time taking pictures and videos that they dont enjoy the moment. Years ago, I decided to never live an experience through my phone. A study by Linda Henkel, a psychology professor at Fairfield University in Connecticut, found that when people took pictures of objects in an art museum, they didnt remember the objects as well as if they simply observed them.

This photo-taking impairment effect can happen to parents as well. If we are so consumed by getting the perfect photo, we can miss out on the moment all together, and our memory of it will suffer.

Dont forget about privacy

60 percent of couples say they have discussed rules and boundaries for posting their babys photos, according to the Mac and Mia survey. Even so, men are 34 percent more likely to publish baby posts on public accounts. If parents are concerned about their childrens privacy, keeping photos off of public accounts is a given.

In the Washington Post, Stacey Steinberg, a legal skills professor at the University of Florida, and Bahareh Keith, a Portland pediatrician, wrote that sharing too much information about kids online puts them at risk. They write that all that sharenting can make it easier for data thieves to target out kids for identity theft. Check that your privacy settings are where they should be and never share identifying information like full names and birth dates.

Dont be paparazzi parents

36 percent of parents say they take issue when their childs photo is posted online by someone else. Responsible social media users will always ask permission before posting a photo of another child. But parents should also think about whether their own children will take issue with their own posted photos a few years down the road.

When parents are constantly snapping pictures and throwing them on social media, it can be easy to forget to pause and make sure the post is appropriate. I always use the billboard example with my kids. I ask them to picture whatever they are posting going up on a billboard in our neighborhood. If they are okay with that, then their post is probably fine. Parents should ask themselves this same question when posting about their children. But they should also ask themselves if their child would be OK with this post on a billboard in 15 years. If it would cause embarrassment or humiliation, it might be best to keep it private.

Once children reach an appropriate age, parents should include them in the process of deciding what pictures are OK to post. Researchers at the University of Michigan surveyed 10- to 17-year-olds and found children believe their parents should ask permission more than parents think they should. The kids in the survey said sharing happy family moments, or accomplishments in sports, school and hobbies is fine. But when the post is negative (like when a child is disciplined) or embarrassing (think naked baby pictures or messy hair), kids say to keep it off social media.
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